Episode 52: How to help you AND your kid or teen have more FOCUS!

Focus is hard to come by with all the digital and worldly things! Check out this episode for a few tips to help you AND. your kiddo find more FOCUS!

As mentioned in the episode, for MOM focus, try out https://www.mysoulcbd.com and use code BETHATMOM for a discount if you want a natural way to help you with anxiety, sleep, or chronic pain. (Always discuss any concerns with your primary care provider before trying anything new.)

For more info on Shakeology to ensure you are getting in powerful nutrition each day and to complement your wellness efforts, check it out HERE and contact me for current specials when combined with a fitness/nutrition library subscription! Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com

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Check it out here for info about the two newest programs: #MBF or 9 Week Control Freak.  I HIGHLY recommend both of these as a great way to start or crank up your workouts, and all options include access to the entire workout library of top notch workout programs as well as nutrition guidance and recipe library included! 

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Virtual Fit Club for virtual accountability and support included FREE to all that join with a bundled pack that includes the annual virtual library and Shakeology and/or pre and post workout supplements! I always utilize these to help me with my workouts and wellness habits to be strong for myself first, and bonus bonus bonus points that with these we can model these behaviors for our kids!

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Get your BARK subscription today! Use code BETHATMOM at https://www.bark.us

For a FREE DIGITAL RESOURCE GUIDE download CLICK HERE or go to https://www.dollydenson.com/digitalresources

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app.

Get tips and tools for your own wellness using the Align Your Life Wellness channel on the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @alignyourlife on the app. You can also get more info at https:.//www.dollydenson.com

For a FREE DIGITAL RESOURCE GUIDE download CLICK HERE or go to https://www.dollydenson.com/digitalresources

For more info on the Tick Talk Watch: CLICK HERE. Use code BETHATMOM for $10 off!!

Grab the Pinwheel phone for your kid's first phone, and avoid the addiction and battle created by giving a smartphone too soon: Click here or go to https://www.pinwheel.com/?via=dolly and use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount! 

More info on the Gabb Wireless phone: CLICK HERE or use code BETHATMOM for a discount at https://www.gabbwireless.com

Add a BARK subscription to your Pinwheel phone or smart phone for added security. Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off for life! https://www.bark.us

BARK HOME: CLICK here!!

Covenant Eyes 30 day free trial CLICK HERE!!

 

 FULL TRANSCRIPTION:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Focus focus, focus. It is like the focus of what we need to be doing in order to be successful in all of the things in our lives. Right? Well, I think focus has gone out the window for most of us, with all the things we are dealing with right now, what we've dealt with in the past year, all the virtual learning, all the digital things, all the things, focus is what we all need, right? That's what we're going to talk about today. And I'm going to give you a few tips to help you out.

Speaker 2 (00:28):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 1 (00:53):

Check this out. If you were a mom that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet, check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code be that mom 10 for a discount. So focus is just one of those things that if you've listened to my podcast, or if you've researched the effects of all the digital things, being on a phone, being on a computer, always being on screens, focuses affected by those things just inherently in the nature of how those things are, but then add on the distractions of the world right now, things going on in 2020 with the pandemic things going on in 2020 with the elections in the U S if you're in the U S worldly events going on around the world related to all of the things going on, similarly in the U S there's a lot of things to be distracted with.

Speaker 1 (01:59):

And so I've seen in myself personally, having much more trouble focusing, I have personally have my nurse practitioner job, and then I have this side business of doing this podcast and my be that mom movement community. And I'm working on a couple of courses in different things for this. And then I have my wellness coach health coach business, where I help women to prioritize their wellness, their fitness and nutrition, and staying accountable to their goals. And I help providing help, like link them up with tools and then providing them a community to connect. So I have a lot of things going on, so I need to be focused and I've always had kind of a lot of things going on, whether it was these things or it was when the kids were younger, there's always been stuff going on. And I've never struggled with focus as much as I do right now.

Speaker 1 (02:52):

And I think some of it is at some level of anxiety. That's kind of always there because of everything I see happening and trying to process it all and deal with it all the extra challenges of my job and wearing a mask and all of the things I've never had so much trouble focusing. And this has been an observation that I've noticed over the last couple of months. I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels a little bit when it comes to really sitting down and getting things done. So recently my youngest came to me and said that he was having trouble focusing as well. And it was just a really difficult struggle with getting focused on school and getting focused on all of the things. Now he's attending a completely online school. He doesn't go attend school anywhere. And that has been a huge blessing.

Speaker 1 (03:37):

He was attending that before this pandemic stuff started. So it's been a huge blessing to have that in place. So his schooling has never been disrupted, but what has been disrupted is just having a set routine and having time to do his school where there's not always something going on right now. My husband works from home. He has his own business. He's working from home. One of my, my oldest daughter. She works from home. My next one is in college and she attends some classes in person, but also is at home a lot too. And then I personally have my nurse practitioner job where I am out of the home, but I come back home to the rest of my work. And then I have my side businesses. So everything's disrupted, like, it's just all been in disarray for the past year. You know, I'm sure you relate to this to some degree, right.

Speaker 1 (04:28):

Where it's just like world, as we knew it before is different. And I personally used to have a routine of things being up in the morning and I had my little quiet time, my little morning routine and my exercise and everything like that. And it was just this thing that I did. And I was, I, I like had strength in that. And then once, March and April of last year rolled around, it's just like, everything has been blown out of the water and I've never found that place of peace and focus again. So I see that in myself, self, my son expressed that he's having a similar thing. And while I don't think there's anything wrong with add meds and, you know, getting medications, if that's what you and your child's doctor or pediatrician determines is best for your situation. I wanted to find something to help out my son right now and see if we can find a way to help him focus outside of doing any medications or anything like that.

Speaker 1 (05:23):

And I certainly don't have a show here where I offer advice on medications or treating mint or diagnosis. So this episode, I just want to share with you some of the things I found that have been helpful for me and my family in this situation, thinking that maybe that will be helpful for you as well. If you're having trouble with this. Now, some of this may be easier to do with a younger child, but I think that it's valuable regardless of whatever age your kid it is. And I think it is a great thing to kind of set in place and get in for your kid and their daily routine before they are up and out of your nest and, you know, doing their own thing, because it's absolutely something that creates a sort of foundation and strength for you. And for them just as a way to function in life, regardless of what's going on, regardless of how old they are, or you are, it's just, you know, a great habit to put into place as a foundation for your own health and your wellbeing and your mindset and all of the things.

Speaker 1 (06:24):

Okay. So I want to share with you six tips that are just basic general tips you can use, you can implement for your kids. And then I want to share with you a couple of recommendations. I have specifically for you as the mom of things that have helped me. So the first thing to help with focus would be if you don't already have it to establish some sort of morning routine and just a routine in general for your kid. So that would mean a somewhat set bedtime at night, where they put their electronics up in your room or a central place in the house. They get a good night's sleep. They wake up at on a certain schedule, even though you'll probably get pushback from them. If they're not used to that sort of routine, they really do need a routine in place to help guide them.

Speaker 1 (07:10):

So if you have a morning routine of them getting up, you know, brushing their teeth, getting breakfast, whatever, you know, things that they do before they start school, even if they're not going outside of the home, have that morning routine in place now to help them to kind of get grounded and focused in the morning. The second thing that could be helpful is wearing regular clothes versus just staying in pajamas all day. It gives them the feeling that, you know, they're going someplace and it's not just a lazy day of laying around and doing nothing, you know, kind of wake up your body by putting on those normal clothes that they would be wearing. If they're going to a brick and mortar school, the third thing is having a schedule for the day. So if your kid isn't in a school to where they have like set times that they have to be online, then I would set up a schedule for when they do sit down and do focused work.

Speaker 1 (08:01):

And my son currently because of the weather conditions in Texas, where I'm at right now, doesn't have set classes for this week, but has assignments. And so I've been trying to implement, you know, get up and let's get your work done and then have free time later. So whether you have synchronous schedule or not just having a defined schedule of what's going to happen today, when lunch will be, when snacks will be, when your classes and schoolwork will be, and then that rolls right into the next tip is that having an end to the day. And that kind of means like, if they're on their computer, if they're on digital things all day long for their work is having an end to the day and an end to the digital things, a break from the digital things, a mind rest from the digital things. And then also just having unstructured time.

Speaker 1 (08:48):

So whether that is allowing them to play a game or whatever, you know, unstructured time where they get to choose they're doing, but also be mindful of like what I've talked about in some other episodes about having a time where their mind is not connected to something digital. And it's connected to something in the real world that doesn't offer like instant gratification of a game that they're playing, but something that they use their imagination for allowed them to get bored and get creative, you know, something that is like normal childhood play, manipulative play activity, exercise, you know, getting out and doing something where they're active and like, just try to implement that into their day. And that was actually, my next tip was non-digital time. So time where they just don't have themselves connected to a computer. And then the last thing is to discuss with them, their struggles with focus.

Speaker 1 (09:40):

If you do notice that they're having trouble staying on task, break things down into smaller increments of time, if that's what you need to do, discuss with them, if what their distractions are and together, try to make a plan on how to change that. I absolutely recommend getting them out of their bedroom, if it is their bedroom, where they were, you were trying to get them to do school because that's their place of rest. That's their place where their body is typically ready to wind down into sleep. So for us personally, we moved them into the kitchen or the dining area, and he sits at a table for his schoolwork. If that's too distracting, then if you have another place that's just outside of the bedroom that they can set up and do their schoolwork. I've found that that's helpful, but meeting them where they're at and figuring out together how you can tweak what you're doing, like with more breaks in between, or some type of different structure, different location in the house, those types of things, all of those things have helped us.

Speaker 1 (10:37):

So those are all the tips I have as far as the virtual learning and to help with focus in your kiddo. If you feel like these aren't enough for you and you need outside, help, certainly discuss with their teachers. If you need a therapist or need to talk to their doctor, those are all good things to do. So highly, highly encourage you to just have an open and honest discussion with your kid. Talk about the importance of school and also the importance of getting off of the digital things and doing something outside of that. And of course, what plays into this, that I've talked in other episodes about is just like the distractions that are inherent in the digital things like going off to you tube and doing other things other than the task that they are supposed to be doing on their computer. And that takes you down to some of the other topics I've covered about a layered approach with your electronics.

Speaker 1 (11:33):

If you have a Google Chromebook or just a regular computer setting up your wifi, parental controls and bark home, those types of things to where it limits certain websites at certain times, then that can kind of help guide you in that regard, keeping them on task and focused on what they're doing. This is certainly not something that is simple and easy to do. And it's kind of a new frontier for all of us. If we have not already been homeschooling or having our kids go to some type of virtual school, it has created a whole new world of things. So just recommend that you try to get into the routine, open communication, putting on regular clothes, having a set time for being off of the electronics and then just meeting them where they're at and trying to work together to find a way to be more focused and to stay on task when needed.

Speaker 1 (12:24):

Okay. Now the other thing that I wanted to talk about is related to you as mom and these same tips can apply to you, but I just want to reiterate that your wellness, your health is so, so very important. So a morning routine is something that's great for you. I would have a workout routine where you are exercising regularly to some degree that you are getting your body moving, pay attention to your nutrition, of course, and hydration. All of those things are very important to help you stay strong. And then in addition to that, as I've mentioned, in some of my episodes, I like to use something called my soul CBD. It is a CBD product or line that I trust and I've researched. I was very distrustful of the whole CBD industry and really kind of worried about it. And I discovered that you really have to find a company that you trust that sources from the U S that has third party testing to make sure there's no THC and just the quality of it and all of that.

Speaker 1 (13:21):

So I highly recommend that as a way to help you with anxiety and sleep. And then if you're someone who has chronic pain, it can help you with that as well. So I use my soul CBD, gummies, they're tincture and their capsules on a daily basis to help me with anxiety and just kind of chilling with everything that's going on. So if you're interested in checking them out, go to my soul, cbd.com and use my code, be that mom altogether for a discount. The other thing that I highly recommend for focus specifically is something called beekeepers naturals, and they have a, they call it B elixir, and it is basically something that helps it's called a nootropic. It's basically something that helps to kind of feed your brain with what your brain needs to function and to focus. So it's giving your body natural nutrition, your mind, natural nutrition, and helps you focus.

Speaker 1 (14:14):

So when I take my soul CBD to help me kind of relax and not be as anxious, and then I use the B licks are from beekeepers naturals. That helps me so, so much to focus. It's kind of crazy how much it helps me focus. And then the third thing is I have a super food. I call it my power up smoothie, but it's basically a smoothie that has protein has adaptogens has phytonutrients, has probiotics, prebiotics that I say protein and superfoods. So it's very high quality and potent, meaning that a lot of smoothies that are out there are like their nutrients are destroyed in the process of them being manufactured and shipped to you. They basically get to you and they're just powder and don't really have any nutritional value while there's only a handful of smoothies out there that have in them, what they say they do.

Speaker 1 (15:07):

So I personally drink one called Shakeology and it helps me with just giving myself nutrition that I need in order to function well. And then they also have a boost that you can add to it that is called focused energy, and it has natural caffeine in it, a naturally sourced caffeine that helps with focus as well. I will put a link to these in the show notes, if you want to check them out. And if you are interested in them, if you contact me, there are some bundled specials that I can offer you that where you can try these things at a discount while also getting access to the library of workouts that I use to make sure that I'm able to prioritize my wellness every day from home without having to pay for a gym membership without having to drive somewhere. It's something I access from home has all kinds of nutrition and fitness tools, as well as the opportunity to try to smoothie when you subscribed to that at a huge discount from buying it separately. Okay? So all of those things, I highly recommend. They are all things that I implement daily for myself to prioritize my own wellness so that I can be strong for my children, which in my opinion is like the whole point of our lives as moms is to do the best for ourselves as well as our children and everything that we can give our kids has to start with her own wellness. Okay. So I hope this was all helpful for you with focus and all of that. And I will chat with you.

Speaker 2 (16:37):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join. Dolly's free community till next time. Hey,

Speaker 1 (16:51):

If you are a mom that has a lot on your plate, like I do, and you struggle with anxiety or sleep or even chronic pain issues, please check out my soul cbd.com. They are the one and only CBD source that I trust. And you can use my code, be that mom for 15% off of your purchase.