The Be THAT Mom Movement Podcast: Protecting kids in a digital world

Episode 80: The latest Tik Tok challenge: Social Pressure vs Parent Influence

The newest Tik Tok challenge, dubbed the bathroom challenge or devious licks, is all the craze right now. Is your kid going to fold to the social pressure? 

 

The newest Tik Tok challenge, dubbed the bathroom challenge or devious licks, is all the craze among kids right now. Schools across the country are having to issue letters to parents to talk to kids as they are forced to close bathrooms due to the vandalism. Is your kid going to fold to the social pressure? 

 

DIGITAL WELLNESS SUMMIT: LIVE SEPT 25 & 26, 2021 GRAB YOUR TICKET HERE!!

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

DIGITAL RESOURCE TOOLS:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

MOM WELLNESS TOOLS:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by LIVE PRISTINE (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!) Use code BETHATOM for a discount! CLICK HERE 

MOM HUSTLE TOOLS:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Health/Wellness Coach opportunity!! Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So did you prepare your kiddo enough to where they resisted the urge to get involved in this new Tik TOK challenge that has gone viral and is being seen in schools all over at least the United States, I don't know about in other countries, but did you prepare them enough? Were you a good parent? Did you do all of the things? Maybe there were other influences. That's what we're going to talk about today.

Speaker 2 (00:27):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 1 (00:52):

Hey friends. Did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. So before we get rolling on today's topic, I want to give you a heads up that I'm so excited about. Actually two things I want to give you a heads up about the first one is the digital wellness education summit is going live on September 25th and 26.

Speaker 1 (01:44):

You can purchase tickets to consume it right as it's released, or you can purchase a ticket that gives you all access and gives you the ability to access just the audio only and all of the things. So highly, highly, highly recommend whether you are a teacher or simply a parent that you check this out. This summit includes multiple speakers from different backgrounds. We all brought our own viewpoint and education to the table. It just has so much information wrapped up in it. If you don't hear this podcast in real time, when I release it this next week, this summit is going to be available virtually for a good length of time. At least probably six months until a new one is released and updated. So check out the link in the show notes for that. It has so much value in it for the cost.

Speaker 1 (02:34):

So I highly recommend that you grab your ticket, get your access and help educate yourself on all of these influences and how to move forward, no matter the age of your kiddo. Okay. So next, let's talk about the topic for today. So if you haven't heard, which most likely, if you have, there is a new tick tock challenge that has gone around and they are seeing the impact of it in schools everywhere. I have looked in the news cycle and seen reports of it from all sorts of different cities, all over the nation, talking about kids, getting involved in this, and it is affecting their schools. So if you haven't heard about it, the challenge is for them to go and steal things from the bathroom at school, they've titled it, the devious licks challenge as another way to refer to it. But it's basically where they go and they steal something from the kids, from their bathroom in their school.

Speaker 1 (03:37):

So it started out like stealing soap, dispensers, and different things that they could remove from the bathroom. And it has progressed to be where they're destroying the bathrooms, like picking up tile off the floor and sinks off the wall. It's just amazing and ridiculous that this is something that is truly happening. I've seen from multiple people on my own newsfeed on Facebook saying that they are seeing it in their kids' schools. I have seen local schools, issue letters to parents saying that they need to let their kid know if they are caught in the act doing this, that they will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. And so, you know, you're probably sick. You may be sitting there thinking, not my kid. Like I educated my kid enough, right? And I know they wouldn't do this, but we all know that the teenage years bring in influence.

Speaker 1 (04:38):

Even before the digital age, there is an influence there from peers. And there is also a lack of like accurate risk assessment that it just goes with the teen years. Right? So I think that that is something that has to be considered here. But as I was preparing for this episode and looking at different things for it, I ran across a post on my social media of a mom that she shared another mom's post, where they talked about this small little school that they go to this small little district that it's impacted them and that their school has had to close the bathrooms. And so the kids had no access to the bathrooms or, you know, have to ask for access just because it's so pervasive and they're destroying the bathrooms. Well then as I was looking at this particular post dad comes on or a male comes on and this is what he says, I'll read it to you.

Speaker 1 (05:32):

He says this all points to parental failures. If kids were taught right from wrong, this would stop parents that do not spend time with their kids and set good examples are responsible for a lot of this. It is easier to blame the social network. You let your kids watch than to accept that you failed them as a parent. Like holy cow, if any of us know anything about the influence of the digital things, that is absolutely inaccurate in what he is saying. And maybe it's just that the temperament of his kids never lint the tendency of doing something like this. But most of us know that we have taught our kids right and wrong and, you know, done all of the things and checked off all the boxes. But it is the influence of both the peers and then the powerful influence of the social platforms that take out some of that reasoning, ability and risk assessment and all of that.

Speaker 1 (06:32):

Like if there's an inkling of it there, which we know a lot of that is not there because their brains aren't fully developed as teenagers. But if there is any of it, there it's like sucking the rest of it out. Right? So, uh, one mom responded to this person on this particular post and S and this is what she said. I beg to differ with you, my husband and I taught our kids to respect others and other properties. We also taught them not to do drugs and steal. My girls were always loved and given everything that they needed, and two of our daughters still ended up on drugs. So don't go blaming the parents for the stupid things that kids do. God gave everyone free. Will they do what they want to do? And I think that, that this mom is right on point with this.

Speaker 1 (07:14):

And that's why I wanted to talk about this today with you, because if you've listened to any of my episodes or, you know, been around any kids in the digital world these days, we know that that the influence of the digital things is powerful. And we know that we cannot completely shut that stuff out no matter how hard we try. And this is just one example of these types of things out there. I saw another mom comment and say that this is only one challenge that's out there. There's another one where they are encouraged to mess around in grocery stores, stealing and breaking stuff, moving products from one aisle to another, walk down an aisle, push products back and over on an entire shelf punch products at random while walking down an aisle. And all of this is something that's another type of challenge out there.

Speaker 1 (08:05):

And of course, this is just more work for the grocery store. So I think these are examples of devious kid behavior or, you know, child behavior, but it becomes very powerful when it's combined with the social influence and pressure of these platforms. So what do we do? Like how do we move from this? I think as parents, it is always our decision, what things they are allowed on and what they're allowed to consume. Some parents are saying, get them off of tick tock. Honestly, I think if it's not, tick-tock, it's another app. I do think Tik TOK is very, very dangerous. I was just looking at an article that I'm not sure if I saved it here. I was just looking at an article that talked about what kids are shown on TechTalk. And it was actually a kind of an undercover thing that one media outlet did where they made an account.

Speaker 1 (08:58):

And they said that the person was 13 or 13 to 15 years old. And it was quite alarming. What they were shown registered as a 13 year old, they said, at least they were shown at least 569 videos about drug use references to cocaine and meth addiction, promotional videos for online sales of drug products and paraphernalia, hundreds of similar videos. And then another teenagers account was shown a hundred videos of paid pornography sites and sex shops and thousands of others shown adult only type of information. So ultimately with any of these platforms, if you haven't figured it out yet, it is often an algorithm based thing. So it may be partially what age is listed on the account as to what they're shown, which sounds crazy, right? Because they can scrub these social media sites. When people mentioned certain words of hot topics that are in the world today, and, you know, just make those things completely be eliminated with seems like in an instant, but yet when it comes to this stuff, it's shown to our kids.

Speaker 1 (10:06):

And I think that ultimately is evidence that these platforms are likely built for these purposes, by people that want this stuff to be pushed out to the young users or whatever, you know, you can believe what you want to believe, but if they can scrub it of people mentioning certain words, certain hot topic, things going on in the world, and they certainly could scrub it of this stuff if they wanted to. So anyways, it's an algorithm based thing. So the more you interact with certain things, the more it's going to show you certain things. So having one of these apps in the hands of our kids is a huge, huge, slippery slope because they are going to be curious and be like, oh, what's that? And then they suddenly are going down a rabbit hole of being shown more and more information like that. That's the dangerous aspect to these apps.

Speaker 1 (10:57):

And I've seen it in Instagram. Tick-tock Snapchat all of them. But the point of this is that if it's not Tik TOK, it's going to be another app that pops up. So what this ultimately needs to look like, I believe is us having conversation with our kids, us keeping the social media apps and smartphones out of their hands when they are younger and only allow it as they get older. But communication with our kids open communication, not just like this is wrong, don't do it. But also talking about how these things influence their behavior and their decisions and their beliefs about themselves, all of the aspects of what goes into them, building these platforms to prey upon us, to prey upon them prey upon us with the addictive nature and with trying to mold our beliefs and our lives. So if we can have that conversation and, and create that awareness, that this is a thing, and it does influence you and these things are not benign, they do have an impact and it's oftentimes very subtle and insidious.

Speaker 1 (12:07):

And so I think that's the conversation that has to happen with our kids. Not just, I've taught you right and wrong. You know, you don't do this, you don't damage other people's property. There's legal ramifications of this, but also discussing the social pressure of these platforms of peers, of how that works in their brain. And I know that can be a hard conversation when we have a child that's in that mode of we know nothing. They know everything that can be a hard conversation to have, but I encourage you to open that door, put a foot in and plant a seed and start that conversation because it's crazy right. To think that kids are going out and destroying bathrooms because of a silly Tik TOK challenge, but it happens. And other tick tock challenges that have gone viral have been things that are like dangerous for our kids, like lives can be lost in these challenges.

Speaker 1 (13:02):

So destroying a bathroom or destroying a grocery store is one thing. But what about the challenges that encourage them to do things that could end their lives? Like that's frightening. So I think that where we need to put a foot down on all of this is number one. If you can not have that conversation with them, then maybe they need to not be on that app, but don't put a smartphone in a young kid's hands. It just doesn't need that. In my opinion, like they don't need a smartphone. There's other options that we know you, you hear me talk about them all the time. And then in addition to that, getting a parental control stuff on their phone, if they do have a smartphone and you feel that that's appropriate for them putting something on there, like bark. And, you know, I have that, I talk about it all the time, use the code, be that mom, and get a 20% discount.

Speaker 1 (13:49):

It's already dirt cheap in how much it costs. So just get that and have that help you to monitor conversations. That way it will pick up on if they are talking in text messages about who's going to do what to the bathroom the next day, you know, that type of thing. It's just an extra set of eyes. It's another person in your village to help you. Other than that, I honestly think that it has to start with communication, but not just on the superficial level of this is wrong, but the level of how this is influencing their thought process, their self-esteem, their choices in life. Those types of things. I have said it multiple times that these things, these influences are very insidious. And so you have to start that conversation. And if you're at a place where they are out of control, then do a digital detox, get it out of their hands, take it away, let them have their little tantrum, because they're used to having that in all of the interconnectedness, but know that you're the parent and know that they will survive because we survived our childhoods without all the digital things.

Speaker 1 (14:56):

But sometimes a complete digital detox is necessary. Just taking everything away, like basically clicking a reset, but it can take time for them to detox from all the digital stimuli and things like that. Okay. So that's basically what I wanted to share today. I see parents all over the place pointing fingers. I see teachers pointing fingers and it's just a very complex issue and is definitely indicative of this much larger influence that these platforms have on our kids. And so how you choose to proceed with that depends on you and your kid and the temperament of your kid and where they're at in their social, you know, social setting and all of that stuff. But I don't think it's black and white. And I think if we, while I don't think tech talks should be in the hands of any kids, I think if we just, you know, just remove that platform, they'll go on another one.

Speaker 1 (15:48):

So it's got to start with the education. Okay. So I hope you found that helpful, please pass this podcast on to friends and teachers and everybody else that, you know, we need to get the word out. That it is a positive thing to be that mom, because our kids are depending on us for their futures, for us to get educated and proactive in this space, we cannot ignore it. It's a new realm of parenting. So we have to have to have to figure out a way forward. Now, in the beginning of this episode, I said that I had two things I was excited about and was going to share with you. And then I got all excited about that first one. And I never shared about the second one. So here is the information on the second one. I am almost done with my, be that mom movement method course, I've talked about it for months and months and months.

Speaker 1 (16:35):

And I know you probably are like, yeah, yeah, whatever. It's amazing and sad to me how long it has taken me to get this really rolling and almost out the door. But it truly has taken me several months because there's just so much that has happened in our world and happen in my world with all of the things that I manage and I'm doing. And the fact that I'm a nurse practitioner out in the world of all the craziness that's gone on in the last year and a half, but it is almost done. And it's going to be such a valuable tool for you to help you navigate all of this. It's going to give you a method to follow whenever you are presented with a new digital device or platform or game, whatever it is. And then it is also going to give you so much information to think about and to have as a basically roadmap and a toolkit for navigating all this stuff.

Speaker 1 (17:25):

Ultimately, the digital things change constantly. There's always some new app. There's always some new thing that's trending, but what I'm doing here is creating a place for you to have all of the knowledge and resources at your fingertips, both for yourself and for your kids, so that you can move ahead. Despite the fact of whatever app is trending or challenges going on, this is going to give you a place to stand and a roadmap and toolkit to move forward with this realm of parenting. Okay. It's so I hope that you will check that out when it comes out, I'm going to have a couple of different options for purchasing that, but I'm so excited to finally be getting this almost out the door. My plan was to get it out in this next week. I don't know that it'll be completely ready by then, but definitely within the next couple of weeks, I will have it available for purchase.

Speaker 1 (18:15):

And I hope that you will take it advantage of it once you purchase. I do plan on updating it periodically as things change as new resources come out, those types of things. So once you purchase, it will be a place that you can come for resources that will be sort of timeless as I update it and keep it rolling as times change and those types of things. Okay. All right. Thank you so much for listening in today. I still am seeing people listening from all over the world. So please know that I'm so very thankful for your loyalty and the fact that you're listening, please leave me a review. If you haven't already, it helps my podcast to rank up higher and to be visible to other people. This is such an important topic that all parents need to be aware of. I am of the belief, just like I said, in last week's episode, that once we put a digital device in our kids' hands, no matter the age there is influence there.

Speaker 1 (19:07):

And so there is a moral obligation that I think we all have to share that impact, share that knowledge of the impact with, sorry about all the dinging, share that knowledge of the impact with new parents, with younger parents and get it to where digital devices, aren't babysitters digital devices. Aren't just given to a kid to pass the time, but are used as educational tools and as tools in our life versus something that controls us and molds us and creates the future that it thinks we need to have versus what we know we deserve and what we know our kids potential is for their future. Okay. I strongly believe that digital things are distracting our kids and stunting their development and their future potential. So please spread the word, spread my podcast. Thank you for those of you that share it on different platforms and several of these Tik TOK conversations.

Speaker 1 (20:03):

I have seen my podcast shared over and over and oh my God, that just lights my fire and makes me so excited. And like I've said many times, I believe that our struggles create our strengths and it is my true joy to pay this forward to you and to help you not grow through some of the hard times that I did. So if it helps you in any way, please reach out to me and let me know that because it truly is very fulfilling for me to hear that from you, but leave me a review. If you haven't already and share this with your friends, if you need further connections, I have a Facebook community and I have a telegram channel reach out to me via email dolly@dollydenson.com or on my social media. I have a couple of Instagram accounts at Dolly Dickinson and then the beat out mom movement, podcast account as well. So connect with me in one of those spots. And I'll chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (21:01):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time

Speaker 1 (21:15):

Either before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native.

Episode 79: Screen smart tips for younger kids with guest, Nicole Rawson

This episode features an interview with Nicole Rawson, the founder of Screentime Clinic, a coaching network to help families navigate all the digital things, and the author of the book, Screen Smart Sam Battles the Bad Habit Monsters. Nicole is the mom of two teens, and has walked the walk of learning the hard way on how screens impact our kids, as so many of us in this space have done.

 

You can find more info about her and her mission as well as purchase the book at https://screensmartfamilies.org/  or on Amazon HERE. 

DIGITAL WELLNESS SUMMIT: LIVE SEPT 25 & 26, 2021 GRAB YOUR TICKET HERE!!

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

DIGITAL RESOURCE TOOLS:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

MOM WELLNESS TOOLS:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by LIVE PRISTINE (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!) Use code BETHATOM for a discount! CLICK HERE 

MOM HUSTLE TOOLS:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Health/Wellness Coach opportunity!! Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So as we know the influence of the digital things starts at any age that we put a device in the hands of a child. So today's episode is going to highlight a friend of mine who is on the same mission as me, for helping moms and families to navigate this world of so many interconnected, digital things. Stay tuned for an interview with Nicole Rawson, from Screentime clinic and the author of the book screen smart Sam battles, the bad habit monsters stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:38):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson.

Speaker 1 (01:04):

Holy moly. Check this out. If you are a mom that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet, check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code be that mom 10 for a discount. So before we get started with chatting with Nicole, I just want to give you a heads up that there's only link in the show notes for accessing the digital wellness education summit. This is going to go live on September 25th, and there are different versions of tickets that you can purchase, where you can access the content in real time. Or you can have an all access pass in order to listen to it at a later time and in different versions.

Speaker 1 (01:56):

So please check this out. If you're a parent, if you're an educator, if you have any interaction with children, you have to get this information and listen to it and take it to heart because our children are our future and the digital things absolutely do have an impact. And as long as we are staying on the forefront of awareness and working together in our village to surround our children and move forward as things evolve and change and ever changing influence on our kids, we need to have this information at our fingertips. So check out the link in the show notes for the digital wellness education summit. It is an amazing resource that I want you to have access to. I am not the only speaker in it. There are, I believe, 13 of us plus the two co-hosts. And it's just a great resource for you to have, and to be able to kind of wrap your mind around all of the things digital and how it's influencing our children.

Speaker 1 (02:49):

So please check that out in the show notes. Okay. So today we're going to get rolling on an interview that I did with Nicole Ross and she is the founder of screen-time clinic. She is a former teacher and has two children that are in upper teenage years. She has walked this path very similar to mine where we kind of didn't know what was going on. We saw the influence of things, and we decided to turn our struggle into strength and offer this gift back to the world. So I hope you enjoy this interview I had with Nicole and that you find this helpful and that you will get this book as a resource for you and your kids or someone, you know, in your life that is having kids or has grandkids, whatever it may be. If you have kids, you need this book. Okay. So let's check it out. So today we have Nicole and she is the author as screen smart Sam battles, the bad habit monsters. And so I just wanted to talk to her today and introduce her to all of you so that you can learn more about what she has to offer and this amazing book that she has written. So thanks so much for joining me today. I am so glad that you're here.

Speaker 3 (03:51):

Oh, thanks for having me on. This was really fun to talk and I love your podcast. Thanks for all you do for getting the information out there to everybody.

Speaker 1 (04:00):

Yes. Like we both kind of went through this whole struggle and brought us to this same place with our kiddos and stuff. So I know you kind of have a similar background as me, so for everybody that's listening. Tell me more about you and what brought you to be working in this similar spaces? Me, yeah,

Speaker 3 (04:16):

I'm a former middle and high school teacher and I also have two now 17 and 18 year old boys. So mine is kind of a mix of seeing what's happening in the classroom. And also I got involved in interested in digital wellness and gaming addiction and, you know, the psychology behind all of that because of my own children. So that's what really inspired me to take a deep dive and research because in San Diego, there really weren't any specialists. And still even today, there's a waitlist for a rehab center for gaming addiction that has 300 people. And yet there's still not enough psychologists to help parents create these habits. So I just really wanted to create resources to help parents and have something. And the earlier the better that's kind of where the book came from. Then after I founded the company screen- time clinic to help parents, parent coaches, helping parents reach their goals. And yeah, so it's been a good journey. Wow.

Speaker 1 (05:16):

So you definitely have similar experiences as me with the gaming addiction and all of that stuff. And I didn't know that about the waiting list, so that's quite interesting, but I can totally see that that's such an issue.

Speaker 3 (05:27):

Yeah. And it's too bad that it gets to that point where then, you know, you have 17 and 18 and 19 and 20 year olds that are really failing in life because of the gaming habit and just not flourishing doing their best or just really having problematic behaviors. And, you know, my whole goal now, my mission in life is to prevent that and really start very early talking about it and the risks, because I still run into parents that say what video games are addictive, prove it. Okay.

Speaker 1 (05:59):

Yes. I totally see that too. And I do think like that's one thing that I've talked about recently on some of my other episodes is just how much believe that all these digital distractions and addictions to the games and different things basically like divert their development to where it's, it's kind of almost stopping it. So they're not moving on and in development in life and gaining independence and interests in the outside world and careers and all of that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:26):

Yes. At the very least it's preventing them from reaching all those other potentials. And honestly, the more we researched, the more I talk with experts, it really does change the brain chemistry and has long-term effects by only using that one part of your brain for so much time fixated on the games, thinking about them, talking about them, playing them. So with screen smart, Sam, the book it's meant for elementary school kids any age, honestly, it would be a great gift for a new parent, even just to talk about it and to like have that in the back of your mind, that we don't need to give our children video games to make them happy. There's other ways to spark joy and interest. And, you know, if you do, it has to be really tightly monitored because a lot of kids are at high risk for gaming addiction.

Speaker 3 (07:17):

If they meet a whole host of certain criteria, including autism, spectrum, male, gender, premature birth, any sort of behavior disorders, learning disorders, they're at extra risk. So even though it may look like it's helping them, it really creates a lot of dysfunction and screen smart. Sam talks about the different ways to really keep that in check. And we're not anti tech, but it just is to have healthy habits. And for parents to read the book and see, you know, what are some ways that we can make change in the home to set our kids up for success? When they're little,

Speaker 1 (07:53):

I love the, a bad habit monster. Like I was reading through it this morning as I was getting ready for us talking today. And I was like, oh my God, I love this. It's like all the things that we walked through and didn't know that we had this common ground among all of us with this, you know, all that, all of us that I call it a new realm of parenting. And basically we were like the first generation of parents to walk through it with no guidance and no clue what was happening to our children until damage had been done. And now we have this whole generation of parents that are doing this and this space to help educate the next generation, but the bad habit monster, and all of that was just it's. It's so cute. And how you illustrate it and talk about it

Speaker 3 (08:37):

Because it is, you know, it's a, it's a draw. It's something that kids want to do. And once they start it, they're always going to be drawn to it. Unless, you know, kids don't have, and teens don't have that self- regulation ability just to stand up and say, Nope, I'm not going to do it. It's not good for me. I'm just going to walk away. It's, it's something that they will always be drawn to, even if they know they shouldn't. And there are parameters it's like that little monkey on your back that once it started, it's hard to stop. Yes. Like all the other tasty things in life that we ended up doing.

Speaker 1 (09:13):

Exactly. So the book is geared more toward parents of younger.

Speaker 3 (09:19):

Yes. Yes. And it's meant to be code red. It's a parent engagement tool to talk with your children about, you know, we have parents of toddlers reading it. You can see on our Instagram page, screen, smart Sam ways to actively read with your toddler, that you don't have to read word for word, that you're looking at the pictures and talking about healthy habits, just like green light foods and red light foods like screens or red light. We try to avoid them. And then, you know, fourth and fifth graders, those are the ones that can read the book themselves more and internalize the message a little bit more and do some worksheets and really think about how they can make those changes with their parents and why it's necessary. Okay.

Speaker 1 (10:04):

So to get those other resources, I think it says it at the front of the book, right? As it's screened smartfamilies.org.

Speaker 3 (10:10):

Yes. Yep. There's a whole website just dedicated to the book. And we've had a lot of sponsors that have made it possible to donate books to schools. So the teachers can use them in their classrooms that way, but parents are welcome to order their own copy there and there's worksheets and just screen-free ideas and a whole lot of other books on that topic also.

Speaker 1 (10:33):

So this sounds amazing. And it's like, I think it's, so I feel like the middle school years are so critical when parents are unknowingly giving the smartphone they're giving into that pressure and social pressure. But like we've talked about before this influence starts young. Any time we put a digital device in their hands. So this is kind of gearing toward a little bit younger ages up to those years of giving this the phone. So

Speaker 3 (10:59):

Exactly. Cause kids are so persistent and persuasive and little, little kids, they want phones and they want to be on screens. And it, it just speaks to how stimulating the younger the child is. The more they're stimulated by media, whether it's TV, media, or iPad media, the bigger the screen, the closer the screen, the more interactive the screen. So children are really, really drawn to it. And then it just kind of gets the parents in this loop of technology that they don't even realize is problematic until like middle school, when grades start coming in and they're sweet kids, you know, aren't able to make B's and A's.

Speaker 1 (11:41):

Yep, definitely. And then another thing is like, we, I know when my kids were younger in the first smartphones came out and I first had an iPhone, there was this tendency, you know, when you had to get things done around the house, just give them the phone to play with, you know? Yeah. And I had no idea that there would be any influence there. And I'd imagine like, if there's, if you're only giving it a short period of time, then not necessarily anything to worry about, but it's that making it, the babysitter type thing that we tend to get into to where, you know, it's becoming more and more and they're spending more and more time on it. Right.

Speaker 3 (12:12):

It really counteracts your intentions. It's not worth the babysitting short-term solution to have a really long-term addiction problem potentially going on, especially depending on the child and their needs. So, yeah. And you know what I love about the book that it just takes the pressure off of mom's parents. Like you're not crazy. Look in the book, like screen smart. Sam is having a problem with screens and too much time. This is what's going to happen. And it's not just like, you're a crazy person. Like mom, why can't I have a screen? Like everybody else is doing it. Literally all my friends have it. It's a great way, you know, to show kids like, no, actually this is what could happen. And you don't want to be like screened dumb Sam.

Speaker 1 (13:00):

I love that because we take so much of the burden on like my podcast being that mom has such a negative connotation and that's my movement is to try to turn around that connotation and make it a positive. So this is a way for us to take some of the pressure off of us. Right, right, right,

Speaker 3 (13:17):

Right. I didn't want an email. I screened dumb Sam, you know, fines finds the light at the end of the tunnel, but

Speaker 1 (13:26): Wow. That's awesome.

Speaker 3 (13:27):

Yeah. It's a great story. And certainly there's 16 different aspects of screen time that it actually covers and 16 different solutions. So even though it's your standard, 32 page children's book, it really has a lot of information in it that I think parents will love to consider when they are raising their children.

Speaker 1 (13:50):

Yes. I think it is so awesome. So that's, I'm so glad that you were able to come on today. So when they want to get the book, they can go to screen smart families.org. And then is it also it's available on Amazon, right?

Speaker 3 (14:01):

Yeah. It's available on Amazon Barnes, noble target pretty much anywhere can order books and yeah.

There's links on screen-time clinic too. We have that website and it's everywhere.

Speaker 1 (14:14):

Okay. That was the other thing I was going to ask you is tell me more about how they connect with you. In addition, I know you do more than just this book. So tell me more about what you do screen time clinic and all of that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:25):

The screen time clinic is actually there to help parents. Once maybe you read a book like this and think, oh my goodness. Like, I don't even know where to start. I had no idea because there's so much information on the internet and there's so many books. I mean, it is just very time intensive to make yourself an expert in this area and really figure out what is going to work for your family and your particular situation. Because honestly, I was a single mom raising my kids most of the time. And, you know, we thought my son was on the autism spectrum, turns out it was just gaming addiction, but there's all sorts of things to consider. And at Screentime clinic, we have a network of coaches and you're one of them that people can choose from to connect with and really sit down and make a plan and talk through how are we going to handle screens in our home. And having a family media plan is really essential because these years go by so quick and you know, week by week, you just don't want it to take you by surprise it's way better to plan or make a new plan. It's never too late to start planning to.

Speaker 1 (15:33):

Awesome. Thank you so much for having all of that service. And I'm so glad that we connected. You actually reached out to me, I think on Instagram a couple months ago, but I'm so glad that we've connected and I appreciate you inviting me to be a part of your world and all that that you offer because this is a team effort. And what I like to always say, we have to have like a village in order to raise kids.

Speaker 3 (15:54): Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (15:55):

Thanks so much for being a part of the village.

Speaker 3 (15:58):

You're welcome. Nice to partner and teamwork with you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:03):

Yes. Okay. Well, thanks so much for joining me today and I will put links in the show notes so that

people can get in touch with you and get in touch with this, getting your book in their hands. Very good.

Speaker 3 (16:13): Thank you. Okay.

Speaker 2 (16:18):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.

Speaker 1 (16:32):

Hey friends, did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it.

Episode 78: Back to School Digital Wellness Check up time!

Back to school can be crazy, but don't let that stop you from doing these ten digital wellness check up tips to help you navigate the wild ride sure to come! 

 

DIGITAL WELLNESS SUMMIT: LIVE SEPT 25 & 26, 2021 GRAB YOUR TICKET HERE!!

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

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Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

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Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

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Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

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Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

School is back in session for a lot of our kiddos. So that means that it is time for a tune-up when it comes to all the digital things, just to make sure that we have all of our ducks in a row and don't have too, too many headaches as we roll into this new school year and all the hecticness that comes with that. So that's what we're going to talk about today. Stay tuned,

Speaker 2 (00:24):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 3 (00:49):

He friends do, did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use it is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out.

Speaker 1 (01:24):

So thank you so much for tuning in today. I just want to say a real quick, thank you for those of you that have reached out to me with your condolences on my little brother's passing. I mentioned that in my last episode, if you didn't catch that he died in a tragic freak accident on August 9th. And so things have kind of been weird. He and I did not grow up in the same household, but we stayed close through the years, always communicating. And so it's just kind of weird to all of a sudden have him gone. You know, I took advantage of that, the idea that I would always have him there. So it's been weird to kind of walk through the grief around this because it was so sudden he was so young and I've lost grandparents before. But other than that, I've never lost anyone close to me like this, a sibling, especially.

Speaker 1 (02:12):

And so it's been weird. It's been hard. And then add on all of the craziness that we have going on in the world today with all of the COVID stuff and all of that. And it just really is made for one wild ride the last couple of weeks, but I'm glad to be back here today. I apologize for no episode last week, but I just had to take some mental time off from all of the different things that I am involved in just to get my head on straight again and get refocused. So I am excited today to bring this topic to you about things to think about in terms of tuning up your plan when it comes to the digital things, as we head back into school and all of the hecticness with that. So I have 10 tips that I want to go over with.

Speaker 1 (02:56):

You take them as you may, for what you will be helpful for you and your family, but just use these as starting points for you in order to figure out what to do so that you don't go nuts when it comes to managing this amongst all the other stress in your life, in your career, in all of the different things that you have going on. Okay. So number one tip is to look at parental controls on your kids' devices to limit distractions and have a starting place for how you're monitoring. So if you've been with me for a while, you've heard me say it over and over again, but if you haven't and if you happen to be new here, welcome number one, the be that mom community in the be that mom movement is what I hope to be a place that is safe for you to explore.

Speaker 1 (03:46):

I can't talk to explore how to be proactive in your kid's life with all the digital things and it not to have a negative connotation, but yet a place where you and your child and your family can walk together down this path, knowing that this is not going away. There's really no way to avoid it, and it can have an impact on their development and their health and all of that. And so it is important for us to be a proactive that mom that is strong in walking this path. So welcome if this is your first time listening. But the first thing that I would do is have parental controls. If they do have a smartphone and kind of access to the world through the digital things, have parental controls in place. If you're not familiar with those, the number one thing that I recommend is bark.

Speaker 1 (04:34):

If they have a smartphone or a pinwheel phone, it is a parental control system that is set up and monitored to monitor keywords and pick up on conversations and things to help alert you on what their activity is, but it is not completely all in their business all of the time. So it gives them some space while giving you some peace of mind. So it is a godsend when it comes to helping us navigate this. Now, if you are not in the U S which I know quite a few of my listeners are in other countries, I have done some episodes on some alternatives to bark. I believe it's available in Canada tube. I may be wrong on that, just thinking off the top of my head, but there are some other parental control things out there. Bark is the top one that I recommend because it's the one I'm most familiar with and what saved me in my hardest and most difficult days, trying to walk this path before this podcast was born and let me sleep again, because it was kind of like doing the work for me in all of the things that I didn't know I was supposed to be doing.

Speaker 1 (05:35):

It started doing those things for me, and it was just like a breath of fresh air. And I could sleep again, not having to worry in the back of my mind about what I was missing in terms of what activities were going on underneath the radar of what I could keep track of in my busy life and my busy days. So bark is a godsend or any other type of control system that you are aware of where you live, something that you can put onto their phone that will help you to monitor because there's absolutely no way for you to be able to keep track of everything. They delete messages. There are disappearing features on a lot of things. They're savvy, there's apps that hide things. They're just all kinds of things they're in. It is so hard to keep up with it. And another thing is, if you are new here, go back through my episodes.

Speaker 1 (06:23):

I have an episode that talks about the apps that they can use to hide things. And then I do talk about some of the other parental controls and numerous other things just on this one single topic. So please go back and listen to those. If you're wanting more insight on all of the things with that. The other thing that goes along with that is using, even if you don't have bark where you live using Barco MADEC, and I'll put the link in the show notes for that to access the show notes, you just swipe up on the screen of your phone, and that should give you the links. But Barco MADEC is a thing that bark made where you can go in and put in what devices they have, like what type of phone they have, what gaming consoles they're using, what movie streaming platforms you're allowing them to use, what apps they have, what games they have, all of the different things.

Speaker 1 (07:12):

And then it gives you an emailed template of setups for each one of those things. It is amazing because, you know, can you hear, imagine trying to figure out how to navigate roadblocks, how to set up the screen time controls on your iPhone, how to navigate through Fortnite and all the different things. Everything is different. There's so much out there. So Barca MADEC is something you can use that will be customized to you and your situation. And you can just go down the line and tune up what you have set up for them in each one of those things that you have decided that you were going to allow them to have access to. Okay. So that's the number one tip number two is to have a contract, some type of digital or tech contract with your kiddo. This can be as simple as you are going to have access to this from this time to this time each day, and all new apps need to be approved through me.

Speaker 1 (08:09):

You know, something that's simple, or you can go into much more detail about when they can use it, where they can use it, who they can talk to, if they can contact someone that you aren't aware of who that person is, all of those things. Okay. And again, I have multiple episodes that talk about some of these things and why it is important to know who they're contacting and all of the places that it's best to not have phone access allowed to be in like privately in a bedroom, all those types of things. Okay. So some type of tech or digital contract with them, it can be written. It can be verbal, whatever you feel is best. Okay. And then number three is I highly recommend that you connect with other parents of the kids, that your friends, your kids have, make a connection there, exchange phone numbers, discuss their viewpoint or their plan or policy or lack thereof of tech in their homes.

Speaker 1 (09:06):

If you're going to allow your kid to go there also perhaps open up a conversation, share my podcast, if that would be easier, but open up a conversation about all of the dangers you're aware of. If they're giving unfettered access to Snapchat, and you're aware of the risks in that, maybe just open up a conversation and discuss, Hey, I heard about this kid that was contacted with people trying to sell him drugs. Or I heard about this kid that he was approached on Snapchat and sent these pictures that are inappropriate. You know, those type of things, just open up those conversations. We have to get to a place where there is a common awareness among parents, that there are these inherent risks and the number of middle school kids. And I honestly think the middle school years are like the years where this really needs to be looked at and changed in, you know, just don't give a smartphone to a sixth grader.

Speaker 1 (10:05):

And I don't say that with judgment, if you have done that because I did that, I made all the mistakes, trust me. So when I talk about these things, trust me, I made all these mistakes and I learned the hard way, the very, very painstaking hard way and thought that I was the worst mother in the world for not being aware of these things and having a better handle of it until we were about to fall off the deep end. Right? So I say these things with no judgment, but looking back, I believe that no kiddos should have a smartphone in middle school, give them a pinwheel phone. That is like the best thing out there. If you were in a place where you have a pinwheel phone available, get them one of those or get them a tic talk watch, or now gab has a new watch that has come out.

Speaker 1 (10:51):

There's so many options other than a smartphone where you can still stay connected. They can stay connected with some friends that you have approved, that they can stay connected with all of those things. So we need to open up conversations with other parents and get everybody on the same page that also goes with the school and the teachers and making this something that we spread among everybody and understand that our kids are being influenced and their childhoods are being like hijacked with all of this digital stuff that we're just giving to them. And we think, oh, I just want to be the good mom. I want to be the fun parent. I want to be the one that gives them this stuff. And I just want them to have it. That was me. Okay. So whenever I say that, totally not mimicking, not like mocking you.

Speaker 1 (11:38):

That was me, but we need to open up that conversation. It doesn't have to be a negative thing, a bad thing, a place of conflict with other parents. If we can do it, you know, shoulder to shoulder, we are here to parent our kids together as a village, you know, and I want you as a part of my village so that we can move forward together and make sure that our children have the childhoods that they deserve to have and to have everything in life that they deserve to have in it, to not be hijacked by the digital games in the, just the unmonitored and no boundaries around digital access. Okay. Okay. So number four, you know, I've, I'm so very passionate about this. We have to continue to preserve the real world experiences by having boundaries in place that reduce the inherent temptation addiction, distraction of the devices.

Speaker 1 (12:32):

In of all of the things they're going to be spending their time in school, if you have them in face-to-face brick and mortar school. So they're going to have, hopefully non-digital learning time during school. So when they come home, you may have the propensity to be like, okay, go ahead and play your games. I'm fine. You've been in school all day. You've worked hard, go player games, okay, I've done that, but maybe have some boundaries in place for that to where that doesn't take the place of them going outside and shooting some hoops, riding their bike, playing with other kids in the neighborhood, whatever that looks like for you, reserve that real world experience of interacting with the world and with other people outside of school, because school is about sitting there and doing these things like everybody says to do and sit in the desk and be still and all of that stuff, but they still need play.

Speaker 1 (13:23):

Even as teenagers, they need play. They need time. That is not digital. So preserve those real world experiences by setting up boundaries of when and how long and where they can use those things outside of school. So that they're still doing those other things in life that will, and I have episodes about this too, but that having that in place is so powerful because what you will see if you haven't seen this already is when you allow more of the digital things, they become what I view as kind of addicted. And it'll seep in to their daily choices, their behavior, their attitude, it'll seep into other things of their lives, even if you don't really realize it at first, but when you allow it for longer and longer periods of time, it seeps into all those other things and will affect their sleep. What they're eating, how much they're eating, what choices they make with that, all of the things.

Speaker 1 (14:14):

So it's not benign to just let them have, you know, free reign of playing a game all evening long because they worked hard in school. Just try to set up some boundaries around that. The fifth tip is make time for real world conversations with them. Life is crazy. Life is weird right now. And when it comes to all of the digital things with social media, with not feeling like they're enough with the anxiety that is created by the digital connections and always being connected to something and connected to things in the world. I think that our children are more anxious and more stressed than any generation of children and not just the digital stuff, but with COVID and everything else. So a highly, highly encourage you to make time for real world face-to-face conversations with your kids. And I'm just saying this as a mother, that I try to set aside my digital stuff.

Speaker 1 (15:03):

When my kids are talking to me and really let them know that I'm listening to them, I fail at this sometimes for sure, or I'm distracted or I'm writing, you know, typing something, texting something to somebody, and I'm trying to get it posted or get it sent or whatever. But I try to be more mindful of that. I try to have face-to-face conversations with them and ask them directly how they're doing and what things are going on in the world that are scaring them. And all of that, the sixth tip is to model healthy digital habits. So I kind of said that with the fifth tip, but model healthy digital habits for yourself. So set up boundaries for yourself, set up where you are still doing real-world things for yourself. That is the most powerful thing that our children can see is us being an example in us showing them that we do not need to be on a social media app, or always checking in to see what's going on in other people's highlight reels, put the phone down and have real life experiences with your children and develop digital habits to where you are showing them that it is important to do these other things.

Speaker 1 (16:07):

The seventh tip is something that I mentioned, I think in my last episode, but it is coming up and I am so excited about it. It is called the digital wellness summit. This is something that you can purchase a ticket to. There are different levels of access with the purchase, but it is going to be September 25th and 26th. I am one of the guest speakers for the summit. There are multiple other ones with all sorts of background expertise and what things they are talking about. So regardless of the age of your children and where you're at in the kid raising years, there's something for you in this. So I highly, highly, highly recommend that you check out the digital wellness summit. It will be live September 25th and 26th. I will put links in the show notes for this episode. So swipe up or, you know, slide for that, find the digital, or find the show notes.

Speaker 1 (16:57):

And you can also go to my website@dollydenson.com to find the link for that in my blog post for today's episode, but you can purchase those tickets and then have access to that information. And it's going to be such amazing, valuable information from so many different people or from around the world to their different countries. It's not just where I'm at in the U S so highly, highly recommend. You check that out. They're giving tips on how to manage your life with younger kids and older kids and all different things. So definitely recommend you check that out. The eighth tip I have is some of my free digital wellness downloads from my website. I will link those in the show notes as well. There's a couple of different ones there. I also have discount codes for some of the things that I recommend in there. Highly recommend that you check those things out.

Speaker 1 (17:42):

And if you have made a decision that you can see is not working well with your family or your kiddos temperament, all of that, please don't hesitate to course correct what you have done. Reassess, have a conversation with your kid and decide to change things. If you were seeing that that smartphone is not working well with them and their temptation, and they're constantly pushing against boundaries and things, look at one of the options I have listed for the alternatives to a smartphone or set up your layered approach that I talk about where you have multiple ways of monitoring. If you were worried about what they are doing, my ninth tip is something that I'm so excited. It's coming out in the next couple of weeks. I promise you that it is my be that mom movement method course. This is basically going to give you a method, a process, and a ton of tools for you to be able to navigate all the digital things for you to choose which devices are best, how to set them up.

Speaker 1 (18:37):

All. I will have contracts that you can print out to fill out with your kiddo in all sorts of other things, as resources, including all kinds of resources, you can show your kiddo to help them be aware of the dangers that are out there as well as resources of things, to help you. If you are needing more direct help, individual help, such as counselor or different resources that are out there for gaming addiction and other things like that. So this is going to have anything and everything that you need for a resource to help you navigate this digital world. I plan to update this on a regular basis as things change and evolve in our digital world. And so when you invest, you are going to be investing in something that is going to pay you back and help you as you go through these years of raising your kiddo, to be an amazing adult with amazing gifts that will not be stifled by all of the digital things, because you will have this method and all these tools at your fingertips.

Speaker 1 (19:33):

So I highly recommend that. And then the very last tip that I want to tell you about and something I'm so very passionate about. If you've listened to me for any length of time, you've already heard me say this, but I'm so very passionate about our own wellness and healthy habit choices. Each day. I probably have beaten this thing into the ground so many times with how much I mentioned it, but I am a nurse practitioner. I just finished an integrative health practitioner certification to help people to better align their daily choices and habits with their health and their wellness and the health and wellness of their family. So if that is something that you are struggling with, start with the basics, when it comes to your choices, it can be as simple as what you drink, choose water over other things, how much you move your body, how much you sleep, what stress you have in your body, de-stressing from your day, those types of things, and then getting yourself into a fitness and nutrition routine to where you are supporting your body.

Speaker 1 (20:30):

And I promise you when you align this, I can't say it enough through all of the hard things that I've been through with my family, from, you know, in 2019, when I hit a mega rock bottom with raising my kids without any awareness around the dangers of the digital things and really seeing the impact in them and just really feeling like such a horrible parent. And that's where the be that mom movement was born. At that time. A couple years prior, I had already established a routine of working out of eating better of drinking more water. All of those things I had already established that routine for myself. It was solid in terms of when I worked out each day and kind of my little morning routine of getting up and reading something positive and journaling, and doing a little bit of reflection and meditation, that all was solid before I went into that really hard time with my family.

Speaker 1 (21:24):

And that was such a strength for me during that time. And then again, when we started going through all of this stuff in 2020 and 2021, it has been a solid rock for me. And as I have done this more and more while my kids as teenagers were resistant to any of the changes I proposed to make, like things that I, how I cooked things, very resistant to making any change, but over time, they have seen the effect in me and it's had a trickle down effect with them to where now they are all making better choices. They all exercise on most days from the age they were at, it had to be a place of them basically deciding for themselves after seeing me do it, they weren't young enough still where I could tell them do this. And they did it, you know, like they just believed everything.

Speaker 1 (22:14):

I said, I had not gotten that routine in place until they were older. And so in those teenage years, you know, there's no way that you can just tell them things and them trust you they're resistant to anything that you say. And so just modeling that behavior has had a trickle down effect into their lives as well. And it's just been such a solid place of strength for me. And it sounds so weird to say that on one sense, because I used to be an exercise hater and very picky eater, my palette wasn't used to eating vegetables and things, you know, that were more natural from the earth. And it's taken me a while to adjust to that. But it's so weird to think that if you're not in the routine of working out in doing things like that, then you may be listening to me and saying whatever, but I promise you that it's so very powerful.

Speaker 1 (23:06):

Once you start walking that walk and realizing how much control you have within yourself to empower yourself and that when you have your health and you feel energetic and alive and not always like tired and run down and you can't stand how your clothes fit and all of that stuff, when you have that energetic life within you, it helps so many other things I can handle the stresses of being a parent in all of the stresses of all the digital things. I can handle everything so much better because I have my own health and I used to lose my temper a lot. I used to yell a lot. There used to be, you know, I just felt like I was giving my all to these kids. Like they were getting everything of me, all of me, and they didn't appreciate that. And so that would make me so mad because I'm like, I'm giving you everything.

Speaker 1 (23:54):

I'm sacrificing my entire life. And here you are. And you don't even appreciate it when ultimately they're kids. They're not meant to appreciate it, right? That's like their nature. They don't, aren't fully developed in their brain and all of that in order for them to have that appreciation that takes them maturing and growing up to get to that point. So it wasn't their responsibility. And, you know, I couldn't blame them for my health, but I was. But when you can take that back and hold that as you're, you are a mom, but you have this place that yours, when you have that place, it's yours. It is so very powerful and will have a trickle down effect. And so I have to mention that and include that as part of what I hope you will consider as you're going through some of these stressful days ahead as school is back in session COVID is all the mess is still going on.

Speaker 1 (24:47):

And, you know, you're just really trying to navigate all the different things. Don't forget your wellness. Don't forget drinking water every day, getting good quality, sleep, finding a way to reduce your stress when you feel like your stress is high. Even if it's as simple as taking some deep breaths for a few minutes, and then moving your body and getting more deliberate with how you move your body. For me personally, I just don't, I don't enjoy exercise enough to do it all the time without results. I want results. I want to see what I'm that what I'm doing is making a difference. I'm at the point to where I'm not really needing to lose weight, but when I was needing to lose weight, I had to be losing weight, or I was going to quit doing it because I didn't feel like it was something I enjoyed.

Speaker 1 (25:28):

So if you need a place of tools and in a community to help you with that, I have a place for that. I have a place for you that you can join. You have to be in the U S Canada, the UK or France in order to join that. But I have a place that you can join, and it has tons of tools for working out for how you eat or reducing stress, all of that stuff. It is just amazing. And then I have an online community that you can join for extra support there too, just to have a little group of women, that's doing it with you. Okay. So those are the top 10 tips that I have as I sat here. And I thought about what things could help us most as we're going into this school year, and stress is still high around all the things.

Speaker 1 (26:13):

So I hope that you found this helpful. I actually had a lot to say about this didn't I, because we're like going on 30 minutes. So I hope you stayed with me for that whole thing. And I really appreciate you being here. And I'm always very, very grateful for the be that mom movement community. So connect with me. If I can help you in any other way, check out the links for that digital wellness summit. I'm going to put them in the show notes, purchase your ticket. The best value. One is the one that's all access. And then I also will have the links for the free digital wellness downloads from my website. When my course comes out in the next couple of weeks, I will definitely be putting the links up for that. And then if you have any interest in the wellness tools that I use in the fit club that I have, I will put a link for that as well.

Speaker 1 (26:57):

Also, if you need deeper help with wellness and all of that, I'm putting together some options to help on a deeper level. If you're not wanting those fitness and nutrition tools that I use, but want to look more deeply at your mindset and what's holding you back, or if you are needing detox options or a way to kind of get yourself on track with gut health and all of that, I have that coming down the pike too. So stay tuned for all of that. And I will chat with you next time. Thanks so much for joining me today.

Speaker 2 (27:27):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time, either

Speaker 3 (27:41):

Before there you go. I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native kids.

Episode 77: When life gets in the way, lean into the gifts of the hard!

Over the last two weeks, life has been a bit hard on the family front, but here are a few lessons in that hard, and how I am leaning into it to find the gifts in it all. 

 

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:03):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson. Holy moly, this out. If you were a

Speaker 2 (00:29):

Mom that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet, check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone. Check out pinwheel@pennwell.com. Use code be that mom 10 for a discount. Hey, Hey, so I am coming to you today with a short and sweet episode. Just a tiny little update here. If you hadn't noticed, I did not have an episode come out last week. Normally I have them come out once a week on a Tuesday or a Wednesday, but life got in the way for me. And I had to put things with this podcast on a back burner briefly because my little brother passed away tragically in a freak accident.

Speaker 2 (01:19):

And so life was crazy for a little while there and couldn't sleep. Couldn't focus, couldn't do anything. He did live in the same town as me. So his Memorial service and everything was nearby, which meant that family from all over the nation. Many of which I hadn't seen in decades came together here in my hometown for us to celebrate my little brother's life. And so things have been crazy and I did what I could, but I just could not get a podcast out to today or last week, but I do want to tell you about some fun things that are coming down the pike that I think will be helpful for you. And I hope you will utilize. I was asked by a screen time clinic. Nicole Rossen is I hope I said her last name right, is a part of that. She asked me to be a part of this little symposium thing that they are putting together, where they are bringing together the minds and the expertise of a couple of, not a couple there's like 10 to 15 of us that are all kind of in this digital health, digital safety space, but all with different backgrounds, like there are child therapist and there are moms like me that did it all, all the more difficult bath now trying to pay what they've learned forward out into the world in different ways, but all kinds of experts and backgrounds coming together.

Speaker 2 (02:39):

And we have put together a little symposium that you can partake in where it has different talks and resources for you to help you for children of all ages, not just like middle school or teenager, which I tend to talk about, but also talking about when your kid is younger and what things you give them for, you know, digital interaction. And then as they get older, how to manage that, how to make it a part of your life, where it is a healthy part of your life instead of, uh, kind of out of control and, you know, constantly being on, um, damage control to try to figure out what to do next. So that is coming out. I believe it's at the beginning of September. And if you're listening to this later on, this is in 2021, but that is coming out. I do have a talk in there and I will send it out through all of my channels on social media and through the podcast.

Speaker 2 (03:31):

And then also my email list and on my blog. So I hope you will check that out and be a part of that. The resources are amazing. And I think that no matter the age of your kiddo or kiddos, it can be a helpful resources. And even as your kids get older, and then you go into the grandparent stage and we have young young kids that are being given phones and things as entertainment and all of that, they just offer a lot of resources for all aspects of this new realm of parenting that none of us can ignore. And if we do ignore it, then it is our child's development and future potential that is hindered. So my talk in there talks about how not being that mom or dad for our kid can hinder their future potential. So I have my daughter's puppy with me right now.

Speaker 2 (04:22):

So if you're hearing that background noise and she just walked into the room and no one else is home in the house, so go figure I was able to get some of this done, but always some background noise, as I mentioned in the past. So I have all of that coming down and I hope you'll partake in that. I will definitely mention it and have links and all of that when it is available for you to access. And then I also am working on a couple of podcasts swaps and podcast interviews that I think will be helpful for you with, I think I mentioned this last time in my last episode, but with teachers and with people with different backgrounds so that you can kind of hear a different perspective and not always be hearing me talk about things. So I think I mentioned those before, but I do have those in the works this past week, I was planning to set up getting all of those recorded cause I had the week off from my nurse practitioner job.

Speaker 2 (05:12):

But instead of doing that, it was a week spent with family and saying goodbye to my little brother. So I just had to course correct with that in terms of that's where I was needed at the time. And so some of this has just been delayed. I've been a little bit frustrated with that, just because every time I have plans out and I'm going to just get this stuff done, life gets in the way. But like I've talked about before. I always think that there are gifts available for everything that happens to us in our life, if we're willing to see them and explore them. So it was an amazing thing to have family come together. I reconnected with family, I hadn't seen in decades and some of them in years past, you know, weren't the best relationships. And we were able to rekindle that and, you know, just come together in a place of love for my little brother and whatever capacity we've all known him.

Speaker 2 (06:03):

So I do think that there was a gift in that, and I'm very thankful for that. So like I've said before with the digital things, the same thing in some of my family that came into town that we hadn't seen in a while in person recognize that things were different with the dynamics of my family. And like I am talking about and have talked about with, I think the digital things are a distraction and hinder our kids' development and their future potential in them discovering what it is that they are meant to do in life. Family recognized that we had made a change and they recognized it in our kids and how mature they were and how, you know, they did things during the day and all of that, especially my dad, he was the one that noticed it the most in my two younger kids.

Speaker 2 (06:48):

And so just lean into the struggles, lean into what it is that you're struggling with with your kids and just know that this is a part of your plan for whatever reason, it's a speed bump. You're meant to go over for whatever reason. And when you can find that reason, then it makes it have meaning that doesn't have to be all bad. Just know that navigating it proactively with your family, with your kid is the best path through it, versus just ignoring it and not doing anything about it until it is exploding in your life, which is where I got to. So if you've gotten to that place, no judgment, it is what it is. Some of us took longer to figure it out and learn a way. And I do think that in the past there just weren't the resources, or at least none that I was aware of to help me on this and thus why I am here today and why there are so many other moms and people in different capacities that are coming out with things to help us with raising our kiddos.

Speaker 2 (07:48):

Okay. So I think that's about all I had to say today. I hope that you found this helpful. I hope that wherever you are in the world, that you are safe and that you are able to do the things that you need to do for yourself and your family on a daily basis. If I can help you in any way with the digital things, please check out the resources that I have on my social media accounts and get on my email list. I have some resources on my website. If you go to Dolly denson.com and go to the tools and resources tab, there are some free downloads. There, there are some different things for you to connect with. And I do have my course that I've talked about for forever. It seems I do have that almost complete. And that was something I was supposed to complete this past week as well.

Speaker 2 (08:31):

I have pretty much everything done. I just need to get some recordings done for it. And then it get it put out into the world. So that's coming. But every time I get really serious about getting it completed, life gets in the way. So to me, that means that it is something that is really needed and for whatever reason, I keep getting blocked. And so I will push through that as I always have in order to get that out to you. So hope is well in your world. Please connect with all the resources I have for you. And I'm so thankful for you. Thank you for continuing to tune in. And I promise I will bring more content and more amazing things to give you and have out there for you to navigate all this very soon. Okay. Thanks. Take care.

Speaker 1 (09:15):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.

Speaker 3 (09:29):

Hey, friends, you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids. Smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out.

Episode 76: Set the stage for the teens years with these pre-teen tips!

As parents we often dread the teen years, but having a plan for the digital things in their pre-teen years can set the stage for a smoother ride through the teens! 

 

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So is it the teen years that we need to be dreading? Is there something that we can do to where it makes those years less difficult? That's what we're going to talk about today. And I'm going to give you a few insights from a different perspective that you may not have considered. All right, stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:19):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 3 (00:44):

Holy Molly. Check this out. If you were a mom that is looking

Speaker 1 (00:46):

To give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet, check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code be that mom 10 for a discount. So I was sitting with a friend last night, her and her family came over to our house to swim and spend some time. And we were talking about our children and the maturity stages that they go through. And her children are a little bit younger. At least the set of children are a little bit younger than mine. She has some older ones that are already grown up, and then she's got three younger ones that aren't yet into even the middle school years.

Speaker 1 (01:38):

And then as you probably know, if you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, my kids are teens and older. And so the perspective that we have is a little bit different. She's got some experience with the older ones and some experience with the younger ones. And so we were talking about, oh, the dreaded teen years, you know, my husband asked her how old her daughter was. She said 10. And then we were all kind of like chuckling a little bit under our breath about Ooh, three more years until the teen years, you know, the dreaded years. But as I was sitting there talking to her, I was like, you know, I honestly think that those aren't the hardest years. I think they are complicated in made harder in today's digital age. But I actually think that it is the middle school and even the upper elementary school years that are the place where we really need to be focusing some concerted effort in what we're doing and being mindful around things to set the stage for those teen years so that perhaps they don't have to be as difficult.

Speaker 1 (02:38):

I do think that us as parents in this new realm of parenting in the digital world, we are facing new and unprecedented challenges because of the impact and the influence of allowing our kids into the digital world. And then not really having any guide or like map to follow when it comes to giving things, you know, we was like, we were a part of a massive experiment that's happening over the last two decades as the internet emerged. And then all the digital things emerged, the internet expanded and became more pervasive. And we all thought it was benign, right? At least if you have kids that are my age, we didn't really know the impact or what was going to happen with that. And so it's like, we've been part of a massive experiment. And so if you yourself are listening to this and just trying to get a grasp on things and your kids are younger, like, you know, in the zero to 10 year old range, you have a leg up on this.

Speaker 1 (03:35):

And I would definitely band together with other moms that have older kids and have had their own struggles in this space so that together we can help navigate this better. And so the impact on our children can be in a more positive trajectory for the generations growing up now. So I definitely think if your kids are younger right now, in one sense, it's harder because there's so much more to worry about and it's ever changing and ever evolving. But in the other sense, you have so many more tools at your fingertips. You have a generation of parents that did it the hard way. And so we're here to link arms with you and to help you in this. So that's what I want to talk about today a little bit. So that kinds of sets the stage for what I want to talk about, but when a dial it back for just a second, and then I'm going to give you some tips at the end for just some basic guidelines for you to use or to share with moms that you know, that have younger kids, so that this next generation that's going to go through the middle school years.

Speaker 1 (04:32):

And the teen years will have a little bit more guidance and, you know, a map that they can follow so to speak. So when I was preparing for today's podcast, I was looking for like stats on the influence of a smartphone or the digital things on the middle school years. For me personally, my kids, I do feel like those were the most impactful years because we gave the smart phone at the start of their middle school years. I mean, it typically for most of us, it is that sixth grade year where they're going to be in more activities. They're going to be away from you more. They're going to be with their peers more. They all want to connect with their peers more. I mean, it's just like the age where we have to change how these decisions are made and we have to spread the awareness that they're not benign.

Speaker 1 (05:19):

So I went in search of stats, something that could show me kind of what I'm thinking is true for those years. And I came across this study that was actually of children in Korea. And while I think that different countries have different things and Korea's social setting with their children and their education system can be quite different from other countries. I will tell you that my podcast as a whole, when I look at the stats on where the listeners are from, I have listeners worldwide. And in places I did not ever expect to have someone listening from. So wherever you're listening from, I believe we have a universal struggle that it doesn't matter what culture you're in or what setting you're in. We have a universal struggle when it comes to the digital things and the influence on our children. So I went ahead and looked through this study for Korea.

Speaker 1 (06:12):

Okay. And you know, if you have any experience with looking at studies, you kind of always have to look at what they find, but also the limitations. And is it generalizable? I don't know if that's the correct word, but are you able to take that and put it into other settings and will it still apply? And so while this study might have a few limitations, because the culture in Korea may be different in terms of the approach toward education, how much time they are required to spend studying on things versus other countries. I still think this is kind of a universal thing that can be generalized to some extent. And I'm going to just give you some of the points from the study that I think you can take moving forward. As you make the decision to give a smartphone, to give more access to digital things, to start allowing your kid, to dip their toe in the water of all the digital stuff and give you a place to start as you do that.

Speaker 1 (07:03):

Okay. So as a little background, this study was studying about smartphones and the use in children. And as we know, young people use these digital things like an extension of their hand, right? Us that are older. We did not grow up with these things. And so our minds are a little bit or brain development's a little bit more set in place and completely developed. And so learning new things is harder for us, for kids. It does become an extension of them so very easily, but it is also their place for connecting with the world, communicating with friends, finding information in the world, the day of the card catalog, where you had to go to the library and look something up, or the micro fish that you had to go through in order to find a paper or an article or something like that, those days are gone.

Speaker 1 (07:51):

And so our kids are used to that very much at our fingertips information and, you know, just being able to connect to anything in everything out there. Some stats that were noted in this study was that worldwide in 2014, smartphones were used by 1.8, 5 billion people. And then this study was done before 2020. So they estimated that by 2020 smartphones would be used by 2.8, 7 billion people. And then what they found was that in 2015, a median of 54% across 20 emerging and developing countries use the internet and occasionally, or sometimes had a smartphone, whereas 87% of 11 advanced economies, which include the U S and Canada, and then some major Western European nations, such as Australia, Japan, South Korea, and Israel for them, 87% had smartphones. So in the survey that they did, they found that in, they conducted it over 40 nations that South Korea showed the highest rate of smartphone ownership, which was 88% followed by Australia.

Speaker 1 (08:58):

And then the United States at 72%. So the study summarized just looking at smartphone addiction in the age group of early adolescents and the middle school ages. So what they found was that they are a high- risk group for smartphone addiction, and that it does affect them socially, psychologically, and health wise. So they did notice that they, it affects them in those ways. And it also affects them that once they are addicted to the phone, that it affects them when you remove it. So, you know, if you've listened to some of my episodes, I talk about I self coined it, the teen tantrums. So basically it is when they are their brain and just them, their activity in general gets used to that stimulation from a phone or from a game or something like that, that they will experience a withdrawal like a true withdrawal when you remove those things, when they have not become accustomed to regulating themselves or having time away from them, if you're allowing them to have a ton of time on those things.

Speaker 1 (10:06):

So the study found that there are effects of allowing it too much and also affects when you withdraw it. So of course, if you were already in the space of you have allowed this, and now you're trained to course correct, they will survive the teen tantrum that withdrawal I've done it myself with my child, but just being aware that that is there. If you haven't yet, given these things is a way for you to be mindful as you do proceed through this, that it is not benign, that it actually does have an impact. So when you can be aware of that, you know, that's our starting point with all of this. So what they did find was that the children that they did study, they risk stratified them and different things like that. But I won't go into those details because I just want to stay with the most pertinent things that you can use today and moving forward with your kids.

Speaker 1 (10:54):

But they did notice that children that had prolonged use of their smartphones had more behavioral problems, such as nervousness, a more anxious, temperament, and distraction, like mental distraction, not being able to focus on things. And this was seen more problematically when they had been given a cell phone or a smartphone at an earlier age versus when they were older. They also found that depression and anxiety can cause, or be like a causing. Cause I don't think I'm saying that right, but can be a factor in causing the addiction, but it also can be caused by the addiction. So you see there's this back and forth kind of everything ties together, somewhat in the influence of it. So they did find that what was used most as these kids had more digital addiction behaviors was, and just in general was the first thing was mobile. So things like someplace where they communicate so WhatsApp, I don't know if they use Facebook messenger, the ones that they studied in this study, but some form of mobile messenger in order to contact their friends.

Speaker 1 (12:06):

The second thing that they used most was the internet look. They called it internet surfing, but, you know, looking at at different websites, the third thing was gaming. So it was playing a game in an app, something where they're just playing a game by themselves or with other people. And then the fourth thing used most was social networking through social media sites. And what they found was that predictive factors for smartphone addiction was the duration of how long they were able to use their smartphone each day and then how long they were allowed to be on social media. And then the third thing was their awareness of game overuse. So when they could recognize that they were using it too much and take themselves off, they were less likely to have the addictive patterns in the addictive behaviors. So as you can see, and as we probably are all pretty much aware, there is an addictive pattern to this and it is kind of insidious, but there is an impact and it's not benign.

Speaker 1 (13:07):

And we cannot just move forward into these years, handing a phone over and calling, you know, that it, as far as guidance, here you go, here's your phone have fun, which is what I did. So if you've done that know that I have no judgment for that, I'm just here to help connect you with the tools that I wish I would have had. So the teen years are definitely those years that we dread and they are more complicated by the digital things. But if we can be aware of these things and have a game plan, then it's going to make them easier. So I'm going to give you five points that I want you to just consider as you're moving forward. If you have younger kids or you're needing to redirect, or you have a friend that has younger kids and you're trying to help them out or want to just share this information, certainly share the podcast.

Speaker 1 (13:52):

So let's lay the stage for those 10 years and what five things we can do. The first thing is simply to recognize that this is something that needs to be openly addressed and is something that can and will influence them. If we leave them on their own with complete online freedom, it just absolutely will make that impact. And it needs to be something to be openly discussed and addressed. When we decide we are going to move forward with a phone, even if it's not a smartphone, like I mentioned, all the time, a pinwheel phone, a gab phone are much better options starting out. So that is one way to make this a little bit more simplified is having something that has some safeguards in place for you and gives you kind of an extra layer of protection. The second thing is to remember that we are the adult, we are the parent, and no matter what they say, you can just, it's a given, they're going to tell you all the friends, all my friends, all the kids in class have this app had this blah, blah, right?

Speaker 1 (14:52):

You're the parent, you're the one that is sitting here trying to make sure that they have a solid foundation for their childhood. And so you make sure that you stay in that place of parent and don't just try to be their friend because they do not have a fully developed brain. And therefore we have to make decisions for them right now. Right? Okay. So then number three is make a flexible plan. Moving forward as a family unit. I understand this can be complicated if you have, as parents, you're living in separate households. If there's step-parents involved, if there's a difference of opinion, but ultimately if you can kind of try to get on the same page with those that are involved in guiding the child through their childhood years and make a flexible plan with the plan of, if this doesn't work out, if we see this or that, then we may backtrack and, you know, make a new plan.

Speaker 1 (15:43):

So that is the plan for now. We'll see how it goes. The fourth thing is plan for progressive independence as they show maturity with their decisions. I am not one to say that we should need to, or we should hold or withhold everything possible until they turn 18. I do not think that that personally don't think in with the experience of my children, that that would be the best path, because at some point they have to learn how to navigate this stuff. I think that it is a progressive independence that needs to happen as they show maturity and how you gauge that is partly what I'm going to say with this. Number five is you need to preserve the non-digital activities and other childhood interests. As you step foot into giving smartphone or a dumb smartphone, and you're giving more access to gaming and things like that is you need to preserve the time and the space for things that aren't digital and make sure that they are still doing things where they communicate in the real world.

Speaker 1 (16:47):

They are actually doing things that are like actual physical things in the world. And not everything just with sitting in front of a screen or with a phone in their hands. And once they can demonstrate some regulation with that, then you can make decisions to move forward with more independence. That's personally what I have done when we course corrected. And then we started providing that is I allowed to have the child to kind of test the waters of boundaries and what I personally went through and what we have found is that when we withdrew the complete freedom with the digital things, set down, some limits, set down some boundaries, as far as putting it away at night and it not being allowed in the bedroom at night. And those types of things is there was a rediscovery and almost like a re-igniting of past interests and new interests.

Speaker 1 (17:42):

And realizing that the time suck on that device was sucking time away from other things that were exciting and fun. You know, that childhood excitement before all the digital things suck your mind in and you get addicted to them. So my point would, number five is preserve that time, set up boundaries for them to still be physically active, to do things where they are face-to-face with other kids. And then they are actually using their hands and doing things in real life, such as when they were very young and growing up where, you know, it was all about putting it in the mouth and, you know, putting in their hands and then learning to stack blocks. That type of development doesn't end at a certain age that continues to progress. It just becomes more complex. And I believe in what I've said before is once we give them the digital things, I think it can very easily stifle that development.

Speaker 1 (18:39):

So if you can preserve that space for them, then they can demonstrate responsibility around setting their own time limits and not letting it completely obliterate everything else that they have interest in, in their life. Okay. So I hope you found that helpful with those five tips of things that you can use as you're moving forward. So ultimately we can make it to where this raising a child in the digital world does not have to be an all uphill Rocky road. They may not understand it completely. There may be times where they are very mad at you, and they are convinced that you are a mean mom. And why do you have to be that mom? But I can guarantee you that as they get older, at some point, it may not be until a long way older, they will realize that you putting your foot down and being that mom today and now in their younger years was actually the best thing that could have happened to them as they got older.

Speaker 1 (19:38):

And that what you're doing as being that mom is actually helping them to be more successful in life. I truly truly believe that at my core, that the digital things are hindering our child's development and their potential in the world. And so if we put our foot down on this and admit, we're not perfect and admit that there may be some stops and starts and redirects and you know, course correct. But the bottom line is you are there to be the proactive mom that realizes that something has to be done, and this is ever evolving. And there's always going to be changes in this space, but once we can, you know, just establish that with them until they can establish it for themselves in terms of responsible and healthy tech use, we have to be that mom for our kids. We truly, truly do. Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:30):

So it's my belief that the teen years do not have to all be Rocky. And it is my belief that we are setting the stage in their late elementary and middle school years by the decisions we make with the digital things. So please proceed with a proactive that mom's stance because you are the, like the guide and the thing that is going to help your child to take that next step into the world. Okay. All right. Hope you found this so very helpful today, and I will chat with you next time. I'm going to be bringing some guests onto the podcast. I've been wanting to do it for a while, but summer was busy. Everybody was busy. It was hard to set up a time for these guests that I'm going to be bringing on. So those will be coming soon. I don't know if it'll be next week because I still have a busy work week this week, but I have some free time next week. So I may be setting up some of those interviews and bringing you some of that. So you can kind of get that perspective of some other people talking instead of me, always talking and get some conversations going about different topics that I think will be of interest to you. Okay. Alrighty, thanks so much for listening, chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (21:37):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time. 

Speaker 3 (21:51):

Did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, beat out mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it.

Episode 75: Ditch mom overwhelm with these simple start today tips!

Overwhelm is probably every mom's middle name, especially now trying to raise kids with all the digital things. These tips will help you ditch that for good!

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

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Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

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MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Overwhelm is probably every mom's middle name, right? Especially now, if you're listening to this in real time, when we are getting ready to go into a new school year, I cannot even believe that those words are coming out of my mouth. The summer went by so fast, but today we're going to talk about a few tips to help you tame that overwhelm and have a foundation for yourself and your family that will help you moving forward as we go into the fall months and all of the busy-ness that comes after that. All right, stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:32):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson.

Speaker 3 (00:58):

Did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out.

Speaker 1 (01:32):

So today's episode will probably be pretty short and sweet, but I just wanted to talk about something in general that I have found super helpful when it comes to being overwhelmed as a mom and especially dealing with all of these digital things that we're always having to deal with. And I think that's a never ending thing, right? Like it just evolves over time where we, we get like a new games released a new social media app is released. A new platform is out there and we've got to figure out what's going on with it. Is it safe? All of those things, right? And so that just adds on to the overwhelm struggle that was already there before all of these digital things came about. So I think taming the overwhelm is so, so very important because when we are living in that space of overwhelm, which I think can be translated into stress, our body stays in a place of kind of a heightened alert system, kind of like a fight or flight type scenario, which would be like someone like an animal that's out in the wild.

Speaker 1 (02:32):

And they are like heightened senses, heightened awareness, ready to run at the, you know, at the first sign of a predator. So it's the same thing. If we are in a place of overwhelm and stress, all of the time we have that heightened awareness heightened senses because we are stressed in because it's causing that hormonal response in our body. And over time that has a drastic negative effect on our body. Eventually our can't handle that. And so it starts going into a cascade of events that will cause health issues that will cause eventually auto-immune disorders and other things that happen as our body wears out, because it cannot stay in, I can't speak because it cannot stay in that state all of the time. So when it comes to us being overwhelmed with all of the things who lead it to raising kids and adding on the layer of the digital things, we have to bring that down.

Speaker 1 (03:28):

So I just want to share with you how I do that, and then also share with you how I view or envision that you can take this to help you with that digital things struggle that we're always talking about. Right? So what helps me, and this is a true struggle for me because I do have, I wear a lot of hats and have a lot of different things going on in my life. So it is hard for me to not stay in that stress state, but I know the effect that it has on the body. And I work with women constantly to create the healthy habits in their healthy routine, because we have to bring ourselves down from that. We have to get to a resting and relaxing state where we're not stressed all of the time. So a few things that I will do for kind of stress reducing routine is first having a morning routine.

Speaker 1 (04:19):

They say that what you do in the first 10 minutes of the day, when you wake up, determines the rest of your day, and what that means is basically what your mindset is when you wake up. So if the first thing that you do is as soon as your feet hit, the floor is open up your phone. Look at your email, look at, you know, do some type of activity that raises your stress level, gets you anxious, you know, get you kind of in a negative mindset that is framing your day for what else is going to go on. Of course it's not an all or nothing thing, but if you can harness those first few minutes of your day to get yourself in a positive mindset, have a routine that helps you to relax, helps you to focus in on the positives of life, be grateful for things then that can set the stage for your day and over time doing this consistently will add up into more positive effects that spread out into other parts of your life.

Speaker 1 (05:17):

Another thing you can do, which can be part of your morning routine, but have a routine for reading something positive, reading something that is for growth. That is for reflection. You can read something that is religious or inspirational, something that gives you pause and helps you to think beyond what you're used to thinking. Also, meditation is another thing that would be the third thing. Even if you don't want to do the physical act of meditation, taking a moment to take a few deep breaths, be purposeful with it, doing something as simple as four counts of taking a breath in four counts of taking a breath out, you know, or breathing out, do that for a total of four minutes. Something to that degree, that is meditation that is calming your mind, giving your focus to your breath and to helping you bring yourself back into your body.

Speaker 1 (06:11):

That makes a difference. And then another thing that would be the 1, 2, 3, 4 thing that I've mentioned is move your body. Exercise gives you feel good hormones. It's important for you to move your body every day. And that doesn't necessarily have to be, although I do highly encourage, you have a workout routine that you're following, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that walking is good for you. Walking is kind of in a resting and digesting state. So walking and listening to, you know, the birds chirp and the wind blow those types of things. If you are in a place where you can walk outside, that's good for you, any movement where you're moving your body, you're moving the muscles, you're getting the lymphatic drainage, moving back to your heart, all of the different things that is good for you. And that brings you down from that stress state.

Speaker 1 (07:02):

The next thing is winding down at night and not taking your electronics to bed with you. I am very, very bad about doing this. It is hard to not do it, but to have a period of time where you are winding down and you are not looking into a screen, they say that actually the effects of the light from the screen actually affects chemical release in our brains. And it hinders us getting into a deep sleep. So it helps if you do have to be on your phone or computer late in the evening to have blue bar, I think they're called blue blocker glasses, but they're glasses basically that block that light. I don't know if I'm using the right terminology, but block that to where that is not stimulating your brain late at night, because that has been found to hinder our sleep and getting into a deeper sleep.

Speaker 1 (07:50):

There's also some screens that you can get like a screen that you can put on your computer that blocks that light. And then you can also, if you have like a, I don't know if the PCs do it, but on my Mac, it's set up to where it blocks that light. If you put it on a certain setting, so it can do it just at night or it can do it all the time, but it does have an effect on our sleep. So just having a routine around when you go to sleep, not staring at your screen, turning it off and going to bed, but actually having a winding down routine where you put it away, maybe stretch, read something, that's inspiring. Write down what you're grateful for. Write down what happened during the day, write down what you know, what great things happened and then go to bed after that.

Speaker 1 (08:34):

Another thing is making sure you get adequate sleep. Sleep is so very powerful for our overall mindset and our health. So, you know, we cannot take care of others unless we're taking care of ourself. So getting adequate sleep, allowing ourselves to get into a deep sleep and not be interrupted by the things that disturb our sleep is important. And then finally your body, the proper hydration, nutrition, hydration, and nutrition. So drinking plenty of water, making sure it is clean. Water is important. This is something that I never really focused on until recently, but now I do. I bought a gravity fed filter that I filter my water with and it's called Aqua rain. A similar filter would be the Berkey filter, but when I read reviews and the details about the different, the Berkey or this one, I decided on the Aqua rain. So it filters out things that can filter rain, water, muddy, water, pool, water, toilet, water, any type of water.

Speaker 1 (09:28):

It can filter it down to be drinkable. There's of course, tons of different filters out there. But just my point is, make sure you have water that is clean because there can be toxins and chemicals in the water. And water is like at the foundation of our health in terms of we don't have clean water, no matter what else you're doing with your body, you're just putting the stuff back into you. If it, you know, is full of chemicals. So definitely something that has not been on my radar until a few months ago, mainly when the winter storm hit Texas and we lost our, we personally lost our water for four or five days. That's when I really started looking into water and how to filter it, clean it and all of that, and ended up buying that Aqua rain filter. And so now we drink that.

Speaker 1 (10:16):

I filter all our water through that and we drink that every day. So proper hydration and nutrition is also important for lowering the stress on your body, bringing down that overwhelm so that you can support yourself. Now, everything that I just said is all things that I am talking about for a foundation for yourself. But when you start focusing on these things for yourself, it will have a trickle down effect to your family. And what I found is when I was at a major place of overwhelm a few years back when I had no routine for my own wellness, I had no idea how to work out effectively. I had no belief in myself that I could work out effectively. I didn't know how to eat. I hardly drank any water. I hit the ground running with sweet tea and drank sweet tea all day long.

Speaker 1 (11:05):

I was expanding beyond belief. None of my clothes fit me. I was miserable in my skin. I was tired all of the time when I was in that place. It was a place of pure survival. When I started making changes for myself and really implementing all of these things, kind of one at a time, it was too much for me to focus on too many changes at once. So I did things in very, very baby steps, but over time, what has happened is those things that I do now that my family has seen me do. And that has seen me make a non- negotiable for myself. Like my exercise time was a non-negotiable like, I don't care if it's upper time, but I'm going to work out now. And then we will do supper. You know, this was when my kids were a little bit older, but me setting up those boundaries around that foundation for myself, had a trickle down effect to my kids.

Speaker 1 (11:55):

And now it's a routine that all of us do. And it was less about me kind of like telling them to do it. It was more about them observing me and then deciding they wanted to implement for themselves. Now, in my case, my kids are in we're a little bit older and I had major mom guilt around not figuring this out sooner because I felt like I had influenced them into the bad habits I say bad, but I don't mean we're all in a place of learning. Great. So sometimes we do something and then we learn how to do it better, and then we do better. Right? So when I see that, I don't say it in a place of judgment, if you aren't in a place where you're doing these things, but I felt like the habits I had taught my kids weren't ideal, but I felt like I hadn't figured this out until they were certain age.

Speaker 1 (12:41):

So I felt so much guilt, so much guilt around that, that I had somehow put them on this path or trajectory of being unhealthy or having these habits that they were going to really struggle to turn around because I hadn't figured this out for myself, but all I could do at the time was focused on me. And you know, the few, little things here, like I quit buying certain things that I didn't really want them to consume at home. You know, quit putting money into certain things that I didn't feel were the best for them. And so I did a little bit of that, but at the same time, they had the means to get their own food, their own snacks, and, you know, went off with their friends and things. And so they would still choose those things that I didn't necessarily want them to have anymore.

Speaker 1 (13:25):

So I was at a point to where it's kind of like, I can have some influence by the things I provide for them at home, but they also kind of were out of my influence to a certain extent. And so I just had to be at peace with that and realize that there's only so much as moms can do. We do the best we can. And if we learn something to do something better than we do better, but the mom guilt got to go. It is what it is. Everything is what it is. And when we learn that and accept that it makes life so much simpler to where we're not living in a place of guilt all the time. So once you start focusing on some of these things, if you're not doing these things yet, I think this will have a trickle down effect to your family now for a different perspective on this think in terms of your child in the draw, the addiction of the digital things.

Speaker 1 (14:17):

And if you have not set boundaries around those things, which is the boundaries of bedtime, where I'm talking to you about, you know, it's best to put your phone away and not have be looking at that. The light of that when it's getting close to bedtime and you know, different things like that, also keep in mind that those things have an influence around our kids. So even if they're teenagers, if like when they were younger and you had control over their bedtime, if they're older, now I know mine got to the point to where it was like bedtime was, was non-existent think back to the time where you controlled their every waking moment and their sleeping time and how you had a routine most likely around when they brush their teeth. When they took a bath, when they combed their hair, when they put their clothes on, when they got in bed, and then you said their prayer, and then they went to sleep, and then you knew when they woke up and then you got them breakfast, and then y'all got their backpack ready for school.

Speaker 1 (15:10):

You put on shoes, they already had clothes on, hopefully, and then you drove them to school, right? Then you pick them up from school. They came home and they did their homework. And then they had some time to play and then y'all ate supper. And then it was time for the bedtime routine again, right. There was a routine there and kids need that routine. And so I think what happens with the teenage years is that they get to where, you know, you just kind of let them do a free for all. And so what they are going to tend to do is stay up really late and not get adequate sleep, do the digital things, right for, they go to bed or all night long and then wake up late. The next day, they've slept part of the day. You're annoyed with them because they've been sleeping all the time.

Speaker 1 (15:51):

They didn't do this, or, or that, that they needed to do around the house. Maybe they had school when they woke up late, you know, all of the things. So my point is they still need a routine. And so if you aren't establishing a routine around their bedtime, around the use of digital things, where they're using the digital things, all of that, that may be a place to start that will reduce the overwhelm for them. They will admit it or not. They are getting overwhelmed too. And they don't know how to manage all of that. So while you focus on establishing a stress, reducing routine for yourself, with those things, I mentioned the morning routine, having some type of reading and reflection meditation, moving your body, exercising winding down time at night, adequate sleep and giving your body proper hydration and nutrition. While you focus on those things, have some sort of implementation of similar things for your kids.

Speaker 1 (16:44):

Just don't tell them you're doing that because then they'll resist it. Right. But just kind of, if you don't already put a routine in place for them that requires them to kind of do similar things, such as putting the phone away at a certain time, putting it in your room at a certain time and having some boundaries around the things that they do. It may not work. It depends on the temperament of the child, but I do think that not having a routine is stressful for them. And so we need to keep in mind that them always being in a high stress state is not good for them to get not good for them either. Even though as younger people and younger bodies, their bodies will compensate for it for a longer period of time than ours will when we get older. Okay. So now that we've chatted all about that, I hope that you will take these tips and use them to tame the overwhelm as we go into a new season, depending on where you are in the world, but going into another period of time where things might get busy, things might get stressful and you need time to take a break.

Speaker 1 (17:48):

And if nothing else take a few moments to do four counts of a deep breath in four counts of a deep breath out and do that for four or five times to bring yourself back down and help you calm down. Okay. All right. So I hope that was helpful for you and I hope things are going smoothly as we roll into a new school year, if that is a new school year for you. All right. Thanks so much for listening in chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (18:15):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time

Speaker 3 (18:29):

Either. Yeah. Before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native kids. 

Episode 74: Five myths for raising kids in the digital age! Mom beware!

When raising kids today, it can be hard to know what to do. Listen in to debunk these five common myths that you need to know!! 

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Raising kids in the digital world is a struggle beyond belief. Our kids are so unique and different from each other. Our experiences in life, as parents and navigating all the things can be so different, but there are a few common threads that I notice when I'm out in the world and watching discussions of different things around the digital things. So today we're going to talk about five myths that I see rolling over and over again in the discussion threads of different groups that I'm in and just chat about my viewpoint of those, to give you some perspective and some things to think about when it comes to you approaching these things in your world, with your kids and all the digital things. So stay tuned,

Speaker 2 (00:46):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson

Speaker 1 (01:11):

Only moly this out. If you are a mom that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet, check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code be that mom 10 for a discount. So welcome back to another episode of, to be that mom movement podcast. I think about what topic to use for these episodes, and I'm really trying to always stay relevant to what we are facing in the world. So in coming episodes, I am going to do some that talk about our kids, going back to school and different options that we need to think about when it comes to giving our kids the digital things.

Speaker 1 (02:03):

But today I want to talk about these myths that I see across different parenting groups, because I feel like while we can have differing opinions with these, I feel like these are some solid things for you to think about in terms of how they affect your kids. So you can make a proactive stance and a game plan for yourself and your family and not leave this as to chance, you know, and hope and a prayer and letting the digital things and all the digital info or all the influences in the digital things, mold your child as they go into adulthood. So I hope that my podcast is something that you are coming to every week for guidance and support. And then you're not just someone who has subscribed and you're not listening on a weekly basis. I know I do have some podcasts that I subscribe to that I do not listen to actively just because I'm with all of the things, but I hope that what I share here provides value to you and that you will come to my episodes on a weekly basis to see what I'm chatting about.

Speaker 1 (03:10):

And if you have a topic that you want to see discussed, or you want to give me input, I welcome that. And I invite you to connect with me on social media or on earth through email. And tell me your story and tell me what's going on. Even if you don't want to be featured on the show, if you want to tell me what it is that you've dealt with in your perspective. I welcome that. And if you do find my podcast helpful, please leave me a review that helps me to rank up higher in, you know, the different podcast platforms so that my show gets pushed out into the world. And as you've probably heard me say before, my mission with my podcast is for us to take the stigma off of being that mom that is proactive and setting limits and things for our kids and make it the norm that we are proactive.

Speaker 1 (04:01):

And that we realize that the digital things are not benign and that we do need to take a stand, you know, and guide our kids with these things. So if you can please do those things, reach out to me if you have your own story of success or struggle or whatever it is, and then email me, or get in touch with me, if there's something that you want seen on the show more. Okay. My email is dolly@dollydenson.com. So please feel free to email me and get in touch so we can chat. All right. So let's talk about this. I have five things that I've identified as common myths that I see intertwined in conversations out in the world. When parents bring up a topic and they ask for advice, and then everybody gives their advice. And there's certain things I see that are kind of disturbing to me because of the experience I have went through.

Speaker 1 (04:52):

So if you have not gone down the road of major struggle, like some of us parents have, I'm hoping that you can gain some insight from what I share so that you don't have the harder path to take. You don't have to learn the hard way like some of us parents have. So the first one is that they're in their natural habitat playing games. And what I mean by this is you allow them to have the choice to play the games versus things that they need to do to be a healthy developing child. And I don't mean that they can't have a happy place in playing games, but I would not allow it to take the place of things such as being active. You know? So getting out, riding a bike, shooting, some hoops, going for a walk, whatever it is that you want to encourage in terms of activity, even just simply playing with other friends out in the world in real life.

Speaker 1 (05:55):

I don't think that we should allow a child's draw toward gaming the games, the digital things to be their identity and to be what you allow them to do at the sacrifice of other things. I say this in reference to a post that I saw, and I don't even know where I saw it, but one child was outside doing these active things. Another one was inside sitting in a chair with headphones on and playing a game. And the comment that was made was they're in their natural habitat. Now, the reason that I think this is an important distinction to make is because of what I've mentioned in other episodes that the gaming and the digital things are designed to be addictive, designed, to be like a time suck and designed to draw them in and want them to get more and more of it. Remember that if you've heard me say this before, it is a high dopamine release activity.

Speaker 1 (06:52):

So it's addicting. It's like doing drugs. It's like craving sugar. It's like something that they want more and more of because it gives them that high pleasure stimulation. So once you're aware of that, you can realize that while this is okay for them to do, we need to set boundaries and limits around that in the sense that we need to have them still doing other things, things that without them, it may stunt their development. In some way, like I've said, in a couple of my episodes in the past couple of ones, the normal childhood development things, the tactile discovery, the, you know, doing things to discover what it is that they're interested in the world, those types of things. The second one is a comment that I saw when a mom was saying that she didn't know how to set limits on doing a certain game.

Speaker 1 (07:47):

And someone commented, just let them be a kid it's not addictive or drug. It's a video game. Like, jeez, that might be, and something I said years ago, it might have been. So when I talk about these things, I am never saying it in a place of judgment. I hope you know that I'm never saying it from a place of how could you not know better? I am saying it from a place of, I have been there. I truly truly have with pretty much all of these, but why I bring them up is because it's so important to understand this distinction so that you don't make your kid go down the harder road. Okay. I think that their kids are adaptable. They're intuitive. They adjust quickly compared to adults that have to make changes. So even going down the hard path, you can reroute, you can get things back on track, so to speak, but if we can not have them go down the harder road, it makes life so much better simpler and all of that.

Speaker 1 (08:51):

Right? So glean my knowledge from this in my own experience that gaming and social media apps and all of those things are absolutely addictive and are like a drug and psychologists that have specialties in gaming addiction and gaming disorder will absolutely tell you that studies on the brain will absolutely tell you that. So yes, it is wise to set limits. It is wise to investigate these things. It is wise to be that proactive mom or dad that is, you know, being mindful of these things. The third myth is that you don't need to worry about the digital things until they're teenagers. I thought that I thought that I didn't have to worry about it. You know, just let's just do the thing and we'll figure it out. But, and I think with my kids, it was probably different because the smartphone was just emerging and you know, all of these really addictive and intricate elaborate graphic games, all of the things that are out there just weren't out there when my kids were younger.

Speaker 1 (09:53):

But what I'm seeing now is younger and younger kids are given phones as entertainment, given games as entertainment and not encouraged to do anything else. And that is taking them away from normal childhood things. While the concerns are definitely heightened and much more elaborate when they get to their teen years, all the friends have the phones everybody's connecting on social media and all of that stuff. Yes. Their major concerns for the teen years. But we have to start thinking about this when they're younger, when they are school age, when they are even preschool and younger age, in terms of when we give them a phone or a tablet or something digital to entertain them, we need to make sure it has educational value, that it is not taking them away from being active, doing normal childhood things, that type of stuff. So definitely not something to put off worrying about to your teenage years.

Speaker 1 (10:48):

Not that you need to worry about it, so to speak, but just be proactive and mindful and have a plan in place for how you're going to do that. So that it doesn't substitute from normal childhood things. The number four thing is not my kid. They will know better. They are a good kid. They will figure this out. They will tell me, oh my gosh. So this is in reference to being coerced or contacted by a predator. Being asked to send provocative pictures, chatting with someone they don't know and giving away personal information. All of those things that go along with kind of grooming a child for whatever it is that that person on the other end, whatever their intention is that your kid will somehow know better, that they will not be tempted by this, that they will see the red flags that they will come to you.

Speaker 1 (11:38):

Unfortunately, I think that the predators and the people on the other end, and even if it's another child that is bullying them or trying to get them to send provocative pictures and those types of things, children by nature are curious and trustworthy and innocent and impressionable. And so when we do not give them the steps and the conversation, the communication in regards to what they need to be looking for, and then also setting up what boundaries and limits and layers that we can in terms of monitoring their phone, having the access that they are given set up to where it is not just open up into the entire world with no monitoring, no guidance, no nothing. When we don't set them up for this, that is the path that they will go down more than likely. So definitely not something to leave to chance. And then the fifth myth and the final one that I'll talk about today, and this is probably the one that we all need to hear and nearly brings me to tears as I talk about it, because I thought this and it was the most isolating, and I don't know how to describe it, but it was, it was a place that was my bottom.

Speaker 1 (12:55):

It was my, my rock bottom as a parent, the moment that I felt the most hopeless in that was that we are alone in this struggle, that we are the only ones that are dealing with this, that we are the only ones that haven't set limits. That we're the only ones that don't know where to start. That we are the only ones that meant to do that. But life got busy. And so we didn't do it. And now fill in the blank has happened. I was there. I sat on my front porch. It's what the inspiration for this podcast and everything that I'm doing with the be that movement came from was that utter feeling of alone. I don't even know if I'm articulating this right, but I sat on my front porch and I cried. And I literally sat there for about an hour.

Speaker 1 (13:39):

And it was the most alone I've ever felt in my life. It was the most hopeless that I have ever felt in my life because we had reached a point to where it was blatantly obvious that we weren't doing the things we needed to do in all of this. I had no clue what to do. I always knew there was something I should do, but I didn't know what, I didn't know. There were resources out there for anything. I didn't know where to look. I didn't know where to start. You know, I just wanted my kids to be kids. I just wanted my kids to have phones so they could talk to their friends. I just wanted my kids to be able to have fun looking at pictures on Instagram. And before I know it, that was like the worst decision of my life, because it was a like incremental push in a certain direction.

Speaker 1 (14:21):

I didn't realize, I didn't know that that's what was happening until it was. I felt like my child was completely out of my reach. I was no longer an influence in that child's life. It was just the most horrible feeling as a mom. So I want you to know that wherever you are in this journey, if you were just here for information, because your child is young and you're trying to figure out where to start, or you are someone that was like me, that didn't have a clue. That was like the first generation of these parents that had to figure this out, like a crash course of life. As we went down, the barreling path of raising our kids, if you were like me and you made mistakes, and now you're trained to course, correct. I just want you to know number five, you are not alone in this struggle.

Speaker 1 (15:11):

You absolutely are not. And so I hope that these five tips will give you some hope. We'll give you some guidance. I know that there can be a difference of opinion with these things, but I believe that we all need to take a proactive stance. We cannot leave this to chance playing games and doing the digital things can be something that is fun is educational, but it also can be very, very slippery slope. And once they start down that slope, it can go very rapidly. It can also be something that is incremental and happens over time. The bottom line is it's an influence and the bottom line is it's gotta be something that we start with proactively for our children. So I hope you've found me discussing these five myths helpful, and that you will take them out into the world and help you on this journey.

Speaker 1 (16:03):

And absolutely know that you're not alone in this connect with people in your world that are also trying to be proactive with us. Share my podcast with those moms who are in similar struggles, talk to them about being proactive with your children together. So we can create to be that mom circles of influence. And so we can make it a positive and uplifting thing to be that mom that is proactive in this space so that our children can grow up to be healthy and strong and discover the person they're meant to be and the gifts that they have and all of the things. Okay. Thanks so much for listening. I'll chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (16:47):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join. Dolly's free community till next time

Speaker 1 (17:01):

Quick. If you are that mom that is wanting to make tweaks with what you're eating and supplements that you're taking. I want to recommend that you check out paleo valley. Paleo valley is a company that provides high quality products to help you kind of make those little tweaks that over time, add up and make a huge difference in your life because eating is the fuel for our body and creates the future that we wish to see when we give our bodies what it needs, their B sticks are delicious. They're bone broth is a great way to supplement your gut health. Add it to a smoothie every day. There's also at different supplements like for tumeric, Oregon complex, vitamin C apple cider vinegar. I cannot say enough about paleo valley. So check them out today. Use the link in my show notes and grab your 15% off.

Episode 73: Wait till 8th? Give a phone sooner? What should we do?!

Do we wait till 8th? Give sooner? Wait longer? Listen in for a few thoughts on finding a middle ground on that first phone or access to the digital things!

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So I hope you will forgive me with the extra sound that is likely going to be in the background of this episode. I have recorded it to whites and I am going to record it a third time here in trying to better articulate what it is that I want to get across with this episode. So today we are going to talk about how there is this movement for wait until eight or eighth grade. And then there is the school of thought that we shouldn't wait and there's all these people in between. And then there's all of these moms that are like, I don't know what to do. I can see the point between all of them. And so let's just dive into this a little bit today and talk about a few different perspectives. So you can kind of think this through a little bit more. If you're in the place where you are trying to decide when it is appropriate to give your kid a device,

Speaker 2 (00:59):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 3 (01:24):

Hey friends today here, there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids. Smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, beat out mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. If you haven't

Speaker 1 (01:59):

Heard about it, the wait until eight, I think that's what it's called. I'm not in front of my computer now, cause I'm obviously outside, but the wait until eighth campaign is basically considering all of the different influences and impact is that the right word? Like all of the different things that our kids are exposed to and influenced by when we give them a smartphone. And the point of the campaign is to keep them from having a smartphone at such young ages. So if you look at that, the website for this campaign, they talk about all of the things that I always talk about in relation to what we should be aware of. When we give our kid a smartphone like their brain, not being completely developed, it being a distraction, it being addicting, it being a place where they can be contacted by strangers, where they can be bullied, where they can be drawn their normal childhood development activities.

Speaker 1 (03:03):

And it can be a place where they create a digital footprint that is maybe not ideal, as well as developing habits around using the tech and all of that, that influences their schoolwork, their sleep, their relationships in life, all of the things. So it lists out all of those things, all completely valid points and such a powerful message in this campaign. Now, what I see on the other end of the spectrum is parents struggling with this concept because it's hard to not give them a phone when all of their kids have one it's hard when other parents are not concerned or not aware, it's hard when other parents just, you know, are at a point to where they're not looking into this stuff. I'm not placing any judgment for that parent because I was that parent, but now we're learning and we know better. And there are tons of tools and different things out there that are available for us so that we can make this path easier.

Speaker 1 (04:07):

But what I want to say today is that I don't believe that we should come from the perspective of no tech, no smartphone, no nothing until a certain age. And then we move forward with it. If you've listened to some of my other episodes, you've probably heard me say this, but I basically do not believe that there is any set age, any set criteria, any set, black and white situation, or you are going to know that your kid is ready for that phone or ready for social media or ready for that gaming console. The bottom line is every kid is different. Every parenting situation is different and depending on what you allow and how you allow it, you will probably have to adjust and change your approach, make different rules, take a step back. Course-correct all of that is a normal part of us raising kids in the digital age.

Speaker 1 (05:04):

Now there's nothing abnormal about that. So when it comes to, when we give our kid a phone or allow them more access to the digital world, I believe that we need to take a step-by-step approach that basically helps them to develop the habits in the maturity, around what they are doing. It's a given that they're going to be curious that they're going to be drawn in. They're going to have a tendency to be addicted. It's a given that those things are going to happen. So it is up to us to have a plan in place in order for us to navigate that. Now this can look like what type of device you give, perhaps starting with a watch or relay go device or a dumb smartphone, and then progressing to a smartphone. Or this can look like what you do when you give that device.

Speaker 1 (06:01):

And I think this is something that needs to happen no matter what type of device you give, but when you allow it, where you allow it, how you have it locked down to where you control, what happens on that device? I think that this could look very different for each family. And I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong as long as you are willing to adjust and reassess and course correct. As you see how your kid responds, if you were the parent that is working a 50 or 60 hour work week, and you don't have a lot of time to check in to see what's going on, to make sure that device has put away all of the things. Then I would recommend that you start very much in a, like a slower progression of things. Start with a device that is much more locked down and has things in place so that you don't have to do a lot of the legwork.

Speaker 1 (06:56):

One way to do that is as you give the device that has more access is to put bark on it or to put some type of parental control system on it and set up your layers. If you're not familiar with the layers, take a look at some of my other episodes, take a look at my free downloads that are in the show notes. And very soon I'm going to have a course coming out, which I've spoken about for a little while for a couple of months, actually, I'm going to have a course coming out. That's going to give you more of a game plan when it comes to what you do with your kids stuff. It'll give you resources to refer to. If you need outside help, it'll give you resources to utilize where you can print out and use them as a guide for making your plan for your family.

Speaker 1 (07:49):

For course, correcting all of that. I'm going to have some resources listed for you to share with your child. So together y'all can make a plan and an approach that comes from a place of love and proactive. You know, just kind of being mindful of all of the things I'm going to have that coming out soon. So I hope you will jump into that. I'm going to have it available with payment plan or discount if you were in need of that, but it's a place that is something that I want you to use as tools for progressing through this. But for today's episode, my point is this is not black and white and it's not going to be something that they're just going to be ready for at a certain age. That is my whole heart belief. After raising three kids through all of these digital things, I'm not completely done raising them, but I think we've gotten over the hump of our difficult years when it comes to how this influence them, without me being aware of all of the dangers and all of the things.

Speaker 1 (08:49):

So it's not black and white. I do think you need to have a plan. I do think that they're not going to come to an age and then they're going to handle it fine. Regardless of what age you start with, regardless of what device you use, you're going to need to take. Or I recommend that you take a step-by-step approach that allows incremental use of expanded responsibility, expanded testing the waters. I can't talk, just expanding on what they're doing, expanding how much reach they have out into the world and who they can access. And then also having a plan for reassessing and pulling that back in if need be. So I've seen arguments all across the spectrum of what to do with this. And I do not believe that it is something that just needs to be held off completely until a certain age. Of course, I don't think that we should be giving our children in elementary school, the smartphone, although I know a lot of parents are doing that.

Speaker 1 (09:49):

So hopefully this has made sense to you in the sense that I just feel like we need to take a different approach than just a certain grade or a certain age. It needs to be something that is based on your kid, your family, your plans, your ability to monitor all of those things. Okay. So hopefully there wasn't too much background noise on this and I can publish it. It is the third time that I have recorded it as I tried to get my mind around exactly what I wanted to convey while not overwhelming you too much and not creating too much anxiety, which the last version of what I recorded, I created anxiety and myself talking about it. And so I'm like, oh, that's too much. I know that there's a lot to be anxious about with all of this, but I certainly don't want you coming away from my podcast.

Speaker 1 (10:37):

Every time you listen to me and think, holy cow, I can't deal with that today. So hopefully you found this helpful check out my free downloads in the show notes and check out some of the discount codes that I have for all of the different tools that I recommend for keeping your kids safe in our digital world and helping to guide them on this process. And then I also highly, highly, highly recommend that you make sure you were prioritizing your own wellness and your kids are watching. And even if you have not had a clue of how to approach that, because life is busy and all of the things I promise you that it can be simplified into baby steps. I have done it. And then while I lived with a lot of mom guilt around not knowing how to do that in my life and to guide my kids now that they are older, they are definitely are.

Speaker 1 (11:27):

They have definitely been watching what I do with my wellness and they are starting to make those same choices for themselves. So if you need simplified tools for workouts, for nutrition, for just getting your mind in the right place, getting all of the daily habits in place to support yourself and to support your family, I would love to connect with you. Please also check out my social media sites. I've got my main Dolly Denson account on Instagram and I also a podcast account called the underscore be that mom movement, as well as a fitness focused page, which is Dolly Denson fit. And my website is Dolly denson.com. And I have channels on telegram and a community on Facebook. So please connect with me wherever you are. And I'm glad to help and chat with you in help you guide down this path. And then also check out my course once I get that published shortly. All right. So much.

Speaker 2 (12:26):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.

Speaker 3 (12:41):

Holy moly, check this out. If you were a mom that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet, check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb smartphones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code, be that mom 10 for a day.

Episode 72: Switching it up! Is your parent at risk of a catfish scam?

While we must be focused on keeping our kids safe in the digital world, we can't neglect the risk to our parents too! Is your parent at risk of a catfish scam?

 

For more info on catfish scams & resources: https://againstscammers.com/10-tips-to-avoid-a-catfish-scam/

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

We spend all this time working on being that mom that is proactive in this space and that has all the tips and the tools and is guiding our kids to be healthy and strong as they grow up and mature without having all the negative influences of the digital world. But holy Toledo, have you ever thought about the fact that our kids are being thrown into this world at the same time that our parents are? And depending on our age, we're kind of like a sandwich generation where we not only need to be concerned about what's going on with our kids, but also our parents who grew up in a largely non-digital world and are being thrown into this space. And what if they are scammed? Holy cow, this is a whole nother topic that never even entered my realm of consciousness until today. Stay tuned. Let's chat about it.

Speaker 2 (00:56):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson

Speaker 3 (01:22):

Friends. Did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. I know

Speaker 1 (01:57):

This topic is kind of one of those topics that maybe is not something to be worried about, but at the same time, it totally should be. If you think about all of the scammers that are out there, like they're trying to get it, our children. And then most of the time, most adults probably have enough little red flags going off that they are able to catch the scammers in the act and not let it go too far before they realize it's a scam. But what if you have someone who is perhaps older in one of the older decades of their lives, and perhaps they've lost a spouse that they have been married to for many years, or perhaps they have somewhat of a mental decline and maybe we've given them a smartphone so we can make sure we can stay in touch. What if someone comes along and is able to slip into their circle of trust and start praying on them, just like our children are preyed upon what if they prey upon their loneliness, they prey upon their desire for companionship.

Speaker 1 (03:02):

And they prey upon the fact that they can exploit those things in order to get money from them. This is actually a thing. And some people call it cat fishing, where they exploited kind of a romantic interest, and then somehow gained their trust. Much like kids are groomed by predators and then try to get money from them. I've heard of people saying that their parents were scammed out of a hundred thousand dollars in money that these people exploit them for. They may make up some type of story about how, you know, they are looking for someone to be with and they want to come see them, but they can't get there yet because you know, there's some financial hardship. Can you send me some money? Can you send me a gift card? Can you help me out in this way? And older adults are actually getting sucked into this and not realizing that it's a scam until they have like been scammed out of a ton of money and, you know, emotionally impacted to a great degree.

Speaker 1 (04:11):

I've heard of, there was one person that someone was talking about in this parent group I'm in, it just happened to be that, you know, this parent tech group that I'm in on Facebook, someone brought it up and said, this isn't necessarily related to kids, but I'm really struggling with this right now. And I was just amazed to read through the comments and see all the people who have had parents or grandparents that have been scammed by this. And I remember my own grandpa, um, which he's been gone since 1998. And at that time he was 78 when he passed away. So he passed away kind of young by today's standards, but he was involved in something where he sent money and he got some little things back in the mail and he was just convinced that someday he was going to win a bunch of money from doing it.

Speaker 1 (04:52):

You got all the little, all these little trinkets and a mail opener and different things like that. So, you know, he got some stuff out of it, but that was before all the digital things, you know, that was before the internet was here. So I can imagine that if he had a smartphone or somehow access to the internet, that he may have not had the, the mindset or the judgment to know that he was being scammed and thinking, you know, that these either, you know, companionship or wealth or something like that would have enticed him. So I just wanted to bring this topic up just because it is something that we need to think about. And we need to kind of be aware of, and talk to our parents about it. Some people were saying that they actually put like parental control things like bark on their parents' phone.

Speaker 1 (05:39):

If they felt like they were cognitively not able to have all of the judgment that they should have. And, you know, they didn't, they were concerned about them not having the red flags go up. And those types of things, just so the child, the adult child could monitor the parent's conversations and figure out what was going on. I certainly don't recommend that if you're talking to someone who has all their faculties and is completely coherent trying to do something like that. But I just think it's a good topic for us to think about in terms of, you know, the fact that the digital stuff is ever changing. And there's a lot of facets to it. And I think if someone is not used to how to work the internet and how to do social media and all that stuff, they may not be aware of the fact that there's privacy settings, all the things that we talk about with the kids, right?

Speaker 1 (06:29):

Privacy settings, who is messaging you when you might get hacked. And when you might be getting a friend request from someone who's not a real person, things to look at for that. So again, it kind of goes back to just an education thing and having that conversation with our parents and then also just helping them to navigate it and even offering to somehow monitor what is going on on their phone or their device, so that, you know, you can just be a place for them. Now, if they're already into one of these like catfish type situations, then of course, I recommend that you try to involve local law enforcement or whatever you feel is necessary. Adult protective services, those types of things, to bring them in, in order to keep them safe. But it really sounds like it's a really tricky situation for a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (07:18):

If you've got someone who believes they're truly in a romantic relationship or that, you know, this is a legit thing that they're dealing with, then you have a whole nother situation there because you have to not convince them, but, you know, help show them that it's not legit. And, you know, they may already be very emotionally invested in this relationship to where it is going to be very traumatic for you to tell them that you are, or for you to tell them or help them to see that this isn't legit and that this person is fake or they're to take advantage of them. So it can be a very tricky situation, but I just wanted to bring it up for today's podcast episode and just talk about the fact that it is like, we are kind of a sandwich generation between helping guide our kids who are younger and growing up in this very interconnected digital world.

Speaker 1 (08:08):

And then parents who were not used to being as connected and also maybe not, uh, realizing how vulnerable they can be when they are online and when they have a smartphone. So it's, it's just kind of our place to be in this space and talk to them, communicate, set up boundaries, guidelines, tools, all the things I talk about with kids to help our parents in that realm too. If they're not someone who you think realizes the scope of all of this and the possibility that they could be scammed or being manipulated, groomed all of those things, just like a child is when they're online and vulnerable. Okay. So just to bring that topic up today, I was actually just looking at Facebook and came across this post and was like, oh my gosh, I never even thought about this. And my parents and my in-laws, they both are of the age that they probably are pretty, you know, they're pretty savvy with the things, but I can see like just a little bit older than them, like my grandparents' age, they would have just been blown away by having to have, you know, having a phone and all of that.

Speaker 1 (09:12):

They probably would not realize all of the things that could happen and how much they could be taken advantage of. So have a chat with your parents or grandparents, however old you are, and definitely make a game plan together to make sure that they're not put into a situation where they're scammed or catfished into, you know, giving up their money or somehow being taken advantage of. Okay. So hope you found this helpful and I'll chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (09:41):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.

Speaker 3 (09:55):

If you are a mom that has a lot on your plate, like I do, and you struggle with anxiety or sleep or even chronic pain issues, please check out my soul cbd.com. They are the one and only CBD source that I trust. And you can use my code, be that mom for 15% off of your purchase.

Episode 71: Are the digital distractions imprisoning your kid‘s mind?

Are the digital distractions imprisoning your child's mind and keeping them from the childhood discovery they are meant to have? Listen in to free your kid! 

 

FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

Digital Resource tools:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

Gabb phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Tick Talk Watch CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Gryphon Router CLICK HERE 

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement 

Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

Fit Club info: Being THAT mom isn’t easy, so prioritizing our own wellness is so important! Get tips and tools plus support to help you simplify and align your health/wellness through fitness & nutrition tools that will get you results and to be strong and energetic for your kids! For more info on these tools & the Align Your Life Fit Club, CLICK HERE!! 

Have a fitness routine that works for you but need to level up your nutrition? Ensure you get your daily nutrition with the powerful and unmatched smoothie called Shakeology CLICK HERE to learn more. (Available by itself or combined with what I like to call the Netflix for fitness/wellness library. CLICK HERE for the top options that save you $$$ when getting started with ALL the tools to get you that crucial momentum to make this a routine that sticks!)

Other supplements I highly recommend 

(for informational purposes only, not medical advice, consult with your healthcare provider for questions and to get recommendations specific to your health conditions)

Concerned for toxin/mold/parasite exposure & how to support your immune system in today’s world? I highly recommend Cell Core products, using humic/fulvic acid and natural herbs and minerals to support you at the cellular level, as your one stop shop for detoxing your body while supporting your immune system at the gut level and beyond. Check out the products and protocols available at https://www.cellcore.com and use practitioner code yaCPzYmn to purchase. Connect with me for questions and guidance. These products are game changers for clearing out the unwanted things and getting your immune system in tip top shape! 

Paleovalley CLICK HERE (use code PVFRIEND15 for a discount)

My Soul CBD CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

MitoLife supplements CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOM for a discount)

Magnesium Bicarbonate supplement by PristineHydro (the majority are deficient in magnesium AND if taking Magnesium, are taking a form other than this that is not bioavailable and readily absorbed!)  CLICK HERE

Interested in starting your own podcast or having your own business or side hustle? These are a few of the resources I use and opportunities I recommend:

Kajabi: The best platform to run your business with all the things in one place! CLICK HERE

Podcast Pro University CLICK HERE to learn more about the top podcast course, created by Stef Gass, that will help you take that idea and passion to the next level with a podcast of your own!

Focus on your own wellness through fitness/nutrition while inviting a few friends to join you and/or build your own brand as a wellness coach with Team Beachbody: Email me at dolly@dollydenson.com for more info!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1 (00:00):

It's almost like an imprisonment that we are invoking on our children when we are not aware of how all of these influences that we must deal with today are impacting our children. So today's episode is going to be short and sweet, but I just want to talk about a topic that I think is worth thinking about as you move forward through the summer months, and as you start the school year with your kiddo. So stay tuned,

Speaker 2 (00:33):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 1 (00:58):

Holy Molly, check this out. Or a mom that is looking to give your kiddo a phone, but you don't want to open up the world of the smartphone to them yet. Check out the pinwheel phone. The pinwheel phone is the latest and greatest for dumb, smart phones. It gives you absolute control over what they do and who they can contact, and we'll help them to develop healthy habits around using a phone, check out pinwheel@pennwell.com use code be that mom 10 for a discount. So I think we can all agree that this whole digital parenting thing, if you've listened to me for any length of time in this podcast, or you've been doing any of your own research, we can all agree that there are many, many facets to this, and it is just so overwhelming at times. And it's also ever evolving. And how do I say it it's ever changing in, I guess it's the same thing as evolving, but it's moving in a fast pace and it's really hard to keep up with all of the little things, right?

Speaker 1 (01:57):

So a lot of times what I'm talking about is helping you to get a game plan in place that will kind of evolve and be fluid with the changes of the times new technology that comes out new things going on with your child's peer group, all of those things, right? Well, today I want to talk about something that I was reflecting on the other day, as I sat in the living room in the evening with my son, and he was watching a show that, you know, was talking about different things that he's interested in and telling me about these different things that he's researched about this, and really just kind of talking my ear off about all of these things that he's passionate about now. And I know that if you've listened to me for any length of time, you've heard me say this before, but I did all the wrong things initially, just out of ignorance, just out of not really having a game plan or knowing what to do.

Speaker 1 (02:52):

And also the fact that my kids were growing up, sorry about that notification. I got a update on my computer and I can't figure out how to turn off notifications now. So sorry for those going off. But I did all the wrong things because I didn't know what to do, but also my kids were growing up as this stuff was emerging or coming out and becoming more prevalent. And so it really was kind of a crash and burn type of situation for us. So if you have younger kids or in the midst of this, now take what I share and what other people share in this space and use it to help you navigate this better. But in the end, I think that, you know, it's all workable. We just need to be proactive in this space. So I was sitting next to him and I was thinking about this, how a couple of years ago, and even more than a couple of years ago, when we first introduced all the digital things to all three of the kids, I can see now looking back that it was kind of like a, what I want to say, like a draw or a suck away from other interests that they had.

Speaker 1 (03:55):

It was it's like it had more power on their mind and their interests than other things that they were interested in life. And I didn't realize it at the time. It was just one of those things. It was like, you know, we wanted to give them the gaming console and we wanted to give them the phone and to be able to reach us at any time and to be able to connect with their friends better. And it was, it was fun. It was exciting. It was, you know, my way of like feeling happy about giving them these things sounds ridiculous sometimes when I say that, but it was just how things were. And I didn't realize what was happening until much, much later. And I could see the trends over time of them drawing away from interests that they had as children in real life, tangible things in their lives to just do the digital things and also to pull away from regular communication conversation with family and friends, because it was easier to connect through the digital things.

Speaker 1 (04:55):

So what I'm getting at is I feel like it's almost like an imprisonment of their mind and what's sad and scary about it is if we're not aware of it. And we're not aware of all of these influences and the, all the facets of impact that this has. And we're giving these things at younger and younger and younger ages to entertain and to pacify the kids, or just because, you know, all the other moms and dads are giving these things and we want our kids to be liked and a part of the group, and to be able to communicate. And when they're in extracurricular activities and the organization is communicating through certain apps and different things, you know, we go along on this path. And what it seems is happening is that our kids' minds are being imprisoned in this digital age of distraction, to where they are kept from their full potential.

Speaker 1 (05:51):

And they are kept from newly discovering what they are meant to be who they are in the world. And as they are as a human being, what their true gift is for the world, because I feel like what it seems like is happening is that the digital things distract them so much that they don't do the normal childhood discovery things. They aren't allowed to be bored. Like they need to be in order to ignite that creativity and discovery that children are meant to have and to do into explore. And so as we have devices at younger and younger ages to entertain them while this doesn't have to be a completely bad thing, I think there needs to be a raised awareness that this is a pool and a time-suck that they often cannot resist, and they're going to be drawn to just naturally. So what I want to say is that we need to make a stand for our children for the future they're meant to have, and this may be kind of a redundant message of some of the things that I've said in other recent episodes, but it's just never been more prevalent to me more.

Speaker 1 (07:05):

What do I want to say? Like I've never realized this to the extent that I do right now while witnessing my own children go through a rediscovery of things that I allowed them to be disconnected from. Just because I did not know, I was not aware that this sort of thing could have such a draw. And also that these digital things were replacing the normal childhood things. So when they are given these things at younger and younger ages, and it kind of, it's almost like it stunts their mental development and their exploration of life and to helping them discover what they want to do with the world, what gifts they want to offer the world, what they're interested in for their profession and things such as that. I think to wrap this up, what I'm trying to say is that we need to have boundaries and guidance around using the digital things, be aware that there is an impact anytime that you give the device and that it can be replacing normal childhood things.

Speaker 1 (08:06):

And I think our ultimate goal needs to be that we get them to a point of maturity and development that they realize that there are amazing things in the world to be passionate about and to have interests in not just the digital things. And that's where I feel like I have gotten my youngest too, not all by myself, but, you know, just through the struggles that we have had, it has helped get him to a point where he has something he is so passionate about in the real life, real world, not just the digital world that he realizes when he does the digital things that it is taking away from that very real life activity and experience that he loves to do so much. And so he has found a way to balance what he does digitally with real life things and knows that what is going on in the real world, you know, in an activity is doing in the real world is there's so much more pleasure and reward that comes from that than spinning all the time, doing a game or, you know, social media and those types of things.

Speaker 1 (09:16):

I do allow him to do those things because he's at the point now where he's demonstrated maturity around it and he sets up his own boundaries for that. And I think that's what our ultimate goal is, is to help our children to discover all of the beauty in life and to find what they are interested in and what they want to do with their life and with their world, what gifts they want to offer to the world. That's our ultimate goal is to preserve that childhood discovery that they all deserve to have and not allow the digital things to suck them away or pull them away from those types of things. So ultimately that's going to come down to us, providing guidance, being proactive, and taking a stand for our children in the name of childhood development and discovery. So I hope you'll join me with that this summer, by not allowing them to have complete free rein of all the digital things without some form of game plan.

Speaker 1 (10:15):

So if you need a game plan, go back a few episodes. I did an episode about that. It's been really, really popular and has had a lot of listens. And if you do a search, I'm sure you can find some other people that are in this space that also have similar things that they offer for that in terms of having a game plan for the summer and in the next month or so, I'm going to have some episodes coming out that are going to be some different perspectives to kind of help you as we move into the school year and, you know, wrestle that whole thing around the digital things in them going to school. So I hope you found this helpful. I say that every single time, but I truly, truly do hope that you found this helpful and that you'll continue to stay tuned, subscribe to the podcast.

Speaker 1 (10:59):

If you haven't already leave me a review, if you can. That helps me get pushed up in the ranks on the podcast platforms. And I've seen mega growth in the number of listeners on my podcast in the last couple of months. And so I'm very grateful for that. I thank you so much for tuning in. I am always open to you sharing your story, your struggles, your successes, your perspective with me. So please reach out to me at any time. My email is dolly@dollydenson.com. You can also find me on Instagram at my main accounts, Dolly Denson. And then my podcast account is the underscore be that mom movement. And I also have a wellness account, which is, is kind of small, but it's Dolly Denson fit. And that's where I share wellness tips on my main page. I do as well. So I'm a nurse practitioner by day.

Speaker 1 (11:48):

And then I do this podcast on the side, and I also do a wellness coaching business where I help other women with similar lifestyles and struggles to simplify the whole fitness and nutrition thing. So if you're in need of that, certainly reach out to me for that. I'm also right now working on a couple of different things in functional medicine and integrative health to become certified in those realms to offer a deeper guidance and system for people to follow. If you're needing more help with the lifestyle things, if you have concerns for gut issues, gut health, different things like that, I am diving deep into all of those things so I can offer more things in that realm as well. So connect with me on social for those things. I'm also on telegram. You can find those links in the show notes. If you want to connect with me on there and keep tuning in and keep doing what you need to do to be that mom that is proactive for your kid.

Speaker 1 (12:45):

And that is not going to bow down to all of the digital things and all of the inner workings of social media and all of that stuff that are trying to impact our children in a negative way. So continue to be that mom and be that mom strong because your kid deserves the future they're meant to have, and you are the guide for that. And with the help of other moms and this podcast and all of the different resources out there that I share about all the time like bark and pinwheel and covenant eyes. And there's so many different things now that are so amazing. So check out my links in the show notes for all of those things together, we can build a village that is focused on the best future that our children are meant to have, and that we can make this a reality for our children, despite all of the impacts of the digital world, while also helping them to develop responsibility around what they do in the digital world. Okay. So thanks so much for tuning in again, and I'll chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (13:47):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time. Hey

Speaker 3 (14:00):

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